Archive - April, 2009

9 Reasons Online Relationships Are As Real As Offline

online-relationshipsLast week had a conversation about Social Media with Tony Steward who in my opinion is one of the most brilliant Social Media Minds that I have interacted with.  Our conversation really got me thinking and challenging the fact that Online relationships are as real and meaningful as Offline relationships. 

I recently had the opportunity to connect offline with a friend of mine @helloheady  for the very first time at a Poetry Night that he hosts.  It felt like I’d known @helloheady  forever, as we have connected in the online world via Blogs, Twitter and Facebook  for well over a year.  Here are 9 reasons Online Relationships Are As Real As Offline:

  1. When someone visits/comments on your Blog, Facebook, Myspace, Twitter etc.; that interaction is as meaningful as you seeing/interacting with someone at your office, the coffee shop, the gym…
  2. People can be more authentic and vulnerable in an online environment than an offline environment.  You can be sitting right next to someone and not know their having a bad day, while they are blogging and twittering about the bad day they’re having.
  3. It’s easier to connect with people of similar interests in an online environment than in a offline environment.  Everyone is one click or one search away.
  4. A person has the ability to overcome interpersonal struggles as they can be an online extrovert, even though they may be an offline introvert.
  5. You can evaluate individuals daily interaction, lifestream, thoughts, dreams, perceptions, struggles… through online sharing in a shorter amount of time.  It may take twice as much time to capture the same information in an offline environment.
  6. Candor is acceptable and encouraged in the online world; not always the case offline.
  7. It’s much easier to overcome demographic barriers in an online environment as compared to the offline world.
  8. Relationships are more convenient in an online environment; which can be a huge benefit in our fast-paced microwave world.
  9. You can impact lives daily in an online world without ever knowing knowing you had an impact: through your posts, your tweets, your comments, your online presence…

I am a huge  believer in genuine face-to-face offline relationships; however I am truly embracing the value of online relationships.  Online relationships are making the world smaller and smaller.  This Big ol’ World is getting Smaller and Smaller:  One Tweet, One Comment , One E-mail and One Post at a time.  BigIsTheNewSmall 

I know there are people who totally disagree with this line of thinking and I respect their opinion… My only thought challenge is please prove otherwise.

Are Online relationships as Real and Meaningful as Offline?  Is there anything that you would like to add to the list?  Share your thoughts and experiences?

7 Methods To Talk To My Son About Sex…

sex-blocksLast year I had written a blog post in which I talked about it not being time to talk to my then 8 year old son about sex, in a post titled Let’s Talk About Sex.  Well it’s been over a year and my son will turn 10 years old on May 12th and between now and then I will officially sit down and talk to my son about the birds and the bees.

It’s becoming more evident that it’s time to have “The Talk” as he’s beginning to share conversations that his friends are having, in addition to asking questions like: “What does  it mean to have a girlfriend?”  I plan on our conversation to happen during a fellas night out with just he and I; maybe even over an ice cream sundae or some Starbucks.  Here are the 7 Methods To Talk To My Son About Sex…:

  1. Ask him questions about his knowledge and understanding of what sex is.
  2. Set clear boundaries of what the Bible says about sex and the fact that it’s saved for married couples. (Teach Abstinence)
  3. Outline a vague anatomy of sex discussion.
  4. Talk about the myths he will hear and face on television, through music, in sports at school…
  5. Talk about age/continuum expectations relative to friendships, dating, relationships and girlfriends.
  6. Talk about his responsibility as a young Christian leader as it relates to relationships and sex.
  7. Set clear expectations for him to be able to talk to me about, or ask me questions about anything and everything under the sun.  Reminding him that I will always tell him exactly what he needs to know.  (No stupid questions, all questions are encouraged)

These are my thoughts for now and I’m looking forward and not looking forward to having this conversation at the same time.  My first born is about to be 10 years old and will be in the 5th grade next year.  This will be a big moment for my son and I have the opportunity/responsibility to make it be a moment that he will never forget.

What age did/will you talk about Sex with your children?  Did your parents sit you down and talk about sex or did you learn about the “Birds and the Bees” during recess?  Thoughts, discuss!

I Want What You Got & I Want It Now!

I recently had a conversation with an individual about his struggles with wanting the stuff and the status that other people have.  The problem is that this individual did not fully understand the work and commitment that these people had put in to achieve what they had.  That’s the problem with the world that we live in; a common line of thinking is “I Want What You Got & I Want It Now!”

About a year ago the super talented Video Producer Nick Jones and I shot this short video dealing with Envy.  We shot it in a prison in which I previously had the privilege of serving as the Warden some years ago.  This video is a great reminder of the tension and the struggle that so many people have in the area of wanting what other people have.  “Envy is the tribute that mediocrity pays to genius and hardwork.”

Hostage – Envy from Nick Jones on Vimeo.


You Don't Have To… You Choose To!

choicesThis morning was one of those mornings where things just did not go as planned.  My normal morning routine is to wake up bright and early and the first thing I do is let my Tyson outside to use the restroom;  Tyson is my 19lb. white Westie dog.  I then grab my laptop, my journal and notepad and find a room in the house to get my morning creativity going.

As I opened my laptop, I noticed that I was having problems connecting to my wifi network.  Obviously, this is a real challenge because I have to do my daily Bible reading via YouVersion.comI have to write my blog, I have to read some blogs, I have to take some notes, I have to have the information, I have to have the access, I have to have my normal regiment, I have to, I have to

All of these I Have To’s this morning could not be met; unless I went to plan B.  Plan B would be to make all of my “I have To’s” happen via my iPhone.  I thought about it, grabbed my iPhone and guess what???  The battery was totally dead.

Let’s fast forward an hour and a half, my wifi is intermintently and temporarily working; however I’m not sure if its my computer or the router.  I might only have a couple of more minutes to type this, so here is my life-lesson this morning:

Most “I Have To’s” are really I Choose To’s…  Sometimes we have to just sit back and ask ourselves these questions: Do I Really Have to be in this relationship, be in this financial situation, work at this job, be this overweight, be this type of leader, be involved in this sinfulness, listen to this person, be this type of person, be this insecure…  The answer to that question 9 times out of 10 will be: “No, You Don’t Have To… You Choose To!” 

Life Is All About Choices and The Choice Is Yours… Choose Wisely!

9 Ways To Stop Trying So Hard

stop-tryingMost of us grow up being taught that we need to “Try Harder” and that phrase ‘Try Harder” becomes part of our “Work Hard, Try Harder and Get er’ Done” value system.  I would argue that many times people need to Stop Trying So Hard.  Below are 9 Ways To Stop Trying So Hard:

  1. Stop trying so hard to let everyone know that your the leader… be the leader.
  2. Stop trying so hard to show people how much you know… be knowledgeable.
  3. Stop trying so hard to let your wife know that you’re in charge… be in charge.
  4. Stop trying so hard to keep up with the Jones’… be the Jones’ (it’s not about the stuff).
  5. Stop trying so hard to do the church thing… develop a relationship with Christ.
  6. Stop trying so hard to show your children that your a good parent… be a great parent.
  7. Stop trying so hard to find Mr./Mrs. Right… be Mr./Mrs. Right.
  8. Stop trying so hard to try so hard!
  9. Stop trying so hard to fit in… stand out.

We need to stop trying so hard to fit in, and embrace the fact that God has made each and every one of us to stand out.  Stop trying so hard to stand in… Go Stand Out!

Share Your Thoughts, Experiences & Additions to “Stop Trying So Hard!”

The Insane Power Of A Re-Tweet!

retweetI had written a blogpost for Twitip earlier this week.  Twitip is the most popular blog in the blogosphere for tips on Twitter and its operated by Darren Rowse @problogger who is also the blogger for the most popular blogging site

The post that I had written was entitled 10 Reasons To Use Your Real Name As Your Twitter @Name.  Although everyone did not totally agree with my 10 Reasons, it was a very popular post nonetheless.  As of now the post has been re-tweeted 780 times, has 123 comments and has been re-posted on countless blogs.  Many of the twitter big boys @GuyKawasaki  who has 111,000 followers and @ProBlogger who has 57,000 followers re-tweeted the post.

If one thinks in the form of network marketing or pyramid marketing, you can only imagine the exponential impact of this post or any re-tweeted post for that matter.  The power of a re-tweet is like the Energizer Bunny, it keeps going and going and going… it’s ridiculous.  When you tweet, make sure from time to time your posts are re-tweetable.  Twitter isn’t just about your single tweet but rather the potential to impact, influence, educate, humor, inspire… countless people around the globe by your simple 140 character update.  In other-words it’s important to understand The Insane Power Of A Re-Tweet!    

Go check out the original post 10 Reasons To Use Your Real Name as Your Twitter @Name here and be sure and re-tweet it… it will keep going and going and going and going. 

Share your thoughts on The Insane Power Of A Re-Tweet!

Christians With A Tattoo Is Not Taboo!

jesus-tattoo“Christians With A Tattoo Is Not Taboo” seems to be the place that society has landed; especially within pockets of the Christian Community.  As a Pastor a common question that I’m asked is “Should Christians Get Tattoos?”   The answer to this question is an argument that has been debated thoroughly with people outlining scripture for both points of view.  I personally don’t have a problem with tattoos; however I believe that we should always use good judgement, which applies to what we permanently tattoo on our bodies. 

I got a tattoo when I was in college and it was relative to my Fraternity.  Although, my tattoo is very appropriate and still relevant; at times I have considered getting something added to it, or over it.  I have come to the realization that my tattoo represents part of my story and my journey so I have left it alone. (I personally wouldn’t get anything below the short-sleeve line… however there are some great-looking sleeve tats, just not my deal)

There are a lot of church staff members, worship leaders, youth pastors, senior pastors… at my church and churches around the country that have tattoos;  some of which are evangelistic in nature and others are not.  If you have never seen the Director of Service Programming at Buckhead Church in Atlanta, Mr. Ragamuffin Soul Carlos Whittaker’s  LA Ink segment you should check it out here

Times are changing, church leaders and church congregants have spoken and they’re saying: “Christians With A Tattoo Is Not Taboo!”

To Tat or No To Tat… That Is The Question?  Share your thoughts/opinions!  Do you have a tattoo?

God Is…

god-isGod Is… (___Fill In The Blank___!)

I Don't Want To Go To Your Church!

Dear Mr. Church: I wanted to formally let you know that I Don’t Want To Go To Your Church.

I don’t really understand the God thing and your rules make it even more difficult to understand.

I know you say come as you are, but let’s not go too far because you really don’t mean that.  Don’t you really mean come as everyone else in your building is?

Mr. Church: I really don’t understand this God thing and when I come through your doors and try to sing, for some reason the elevator just doesn’t go ”ding” because I just don’t get this whole God thing.

I am out here doing my thing, you know all the stuff you church folks call sin… No matter what I do I just can’t seem to win.

I’m out here doing my own thing and wished I knew of the God whose praises so many people sing; but in my mind the elevator just doesn’t go “ding.”

Dear Mr. Church: I want to find God, but I don’t know where to search, to the best of my knowledge I can find him at your church.  Mr. Church, I know that your people will look at me funny and simply just want my money.  They expect me to dress and act a certain way and they will keep me in your service all day.   They will make a scene if I’m new and beat me up with all the rules until I’m black and blue.

Dear Mr. Church: I Want To Know God, but I Don’t Want To Go To Your Church!


Non Church Attending Searching Lost Hungry Far From God Guy/Girl


~Scott Williams~

10 Signs It May Be Time To Move On

move-onOften times people are assessing their jobs, roles, callings… by asking themselves the following question over and over: “Should I stay or should I go, should I stay or should I go…?”  Here are 10 Signs It May Be Time To Move On:

  1. You get an upset stomach every morning on your way to work.
  2. At-least once a week you think the following thoughts “If so and so does (_blank__) again today I’m going to quit.”
  3. You’ve asked God for signs that it’s time to move on and he has spoken to you through people, places, circumstances, His Word… you’ve heard its time to move on from God in every way besides hearing his audible voice.
  4. You can’t find anyone within a square mile radius of your job that you like, trust or believe in.
  5. Your boss has said to you “It may be time for you to move on!”
  6. You are 100% certain that you could have a bigger impact, be happier, put your family in a better situation… by moving on and the only thing that’s holding you back is fear.
  7. You tell yourself, your spouse and your friends on a regular basis that it’s time to move on and they agree.
  8. When an American Idol Contestant is sent home; you begin envision the greener pastures that are on the other side of them be kicked off.  You then draw parallels to yourself being in the Top 10 and imagine how being kicked out of your workplace will be better for you.
  9. Every time your boss calls you in his office or on the phone; you immediately start wondering what you did wrong or think they’re going to act like Donald Trump and say “You’re Fired!”
  10. You’ve read through the 9 signs above and said to yourself “That’s the confirmation that I needed.”

Life brings us many seasons and we have to be prepared for each and every one of them.  There is always a time to stay and a time to Go.  Many people are absolutely supposed to stay exactly where they are; however there is a percent who should definitely Go. 

Whatever decision you make, don’t merely make it on emotions alone; but rather give yourself and your family opportunity to evaluate legitimate considerations.  Don’t be the miserable person sitting around saying “Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda but never Dida!” Shh, be quiet & listen to God’s Whispers.

Share your stories, perspective & thoughts?  What are other signs that it may be time to move on?

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