Stop Lusting After Your Pastor!

lustI remember having a conversation with a pastor friend of mine who happens to be a female.  She was sharing the various unique things that women in the church have confided in her about; one of the things that she shared made me have one of those hmm moments.  She stated that women have shared that They Think Their Pastor’s Sexy!  Not to be confused with the popular country music song “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy.”   Not only do they think their Pastor’s Sexy, but they struggle with their mind wandering; in addition to having lustful thoughts as they are watching and listening to their pastor speak.

Pastor Craig Groeschel teaches the art of  “Bouncing Your Eyes” in other words don’t keep your eyes focused on someone of the opposite sex for too long… keeping your eyes moving can keep you out of trouble.  This is something that is stereotypically geared towards guys… but what about the ladies?

After my conversation with my friend; it’s probably fair for me to make the assumption that there are women sitting in pews and seats of churches all around the country that may be struggling with the inability to “Bounce Their Eyes.”  As their eyes are having to fixated on their “Sexy Pastor,” who happens to be in front of them for lengthy periods of time each and every week.  The fact that their pastor is a man of God, tells great stories and seems to be rather put together only increases the the sexiness factor.

The thoughts running through their head might be something like this: He’s Hot, I like that suit, Are those True Religion Jeans, I wish my husband treated me like that, He’s so Handsome, Nice Hair, He dresses so fly, I can tell he’s been working out, I know he’s married but, I would, I bet he… After thinking these thoughts, their mind wanders for a moment or two or three or four and unfortunately, this cycle can repeat itself on a weekly basis.  The Bible says this… “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28  Ladies this passage applies to you as well, so please Stop Lusting After Your Pastor! 

  • Do you think this a common/legitimate problem or simply isolated cases?  Thoughts in general!
  • Does this struggle for women contribute to the vulnerability and moral failures of pastors?
  • Any suggestions for the ladies, Do the ladies just get a pass?
  • It’s often hard for a woman in this regard because while she may be attracted to him physically, she is probably also attracted to him spiritually. The way he says nice things about his wife, the way he loves Jesus and takes a stand for Him…the woman may be secretly wishing that her husband was this way. I’ve been in and around ministry for over 15 years and this is what I have found to be true many times.

    Good thing for me, my husband/pastor is VERY sexy and I don’t have to bounce my eyes when he preaches 🙂

  • Cindy hit the nail right on the head. For church goin’ women, the attraction is not just about appearance but the appearance of the perfect man, husband, father, spiritual leader. And it could also be within serving teams, not necessarily just the upfront guy/gal.

    Suggestions for the ladies? Hmm. The eye bouncing thing may be ok but women aren’t entirely visual. Maybe imagine the pastor leaving dirty socks and dishes in the living room, leaving the seat up, long work hours, scratching, passing gas and bad morning breath–just like the rest of the husbands. Bleah.

  • Put your eyes on Jesus! Every man will fail you… Even the cute, spiritual ones! Jesus never will. Until you’re complete in Him, you’ll never be satisfied…the grass is not greener. Find an ugly pastor until you can gain self control. 🙂

  • Hope

    Okay… As a pastor’s daughter, there is a certain “ick factor” to this for me, but I have seen it happen so, so many times. I think all the ladies have hit the point: it’s about some idealized, over-spiritual view of their pastor. I think it is much more common than people think. Still, I hope there isn’t a woman thinking my dad is sexy; that is just gross!

  • Zane

    Great suggestion Joni and Hope, LOL… The irony is that if in fact the pastor was suddenly interested in “you”, everything you idolized him for is out the window! Do you really want a man whose profession is a pastor and yet he gives in to those God has entrusted to him? When my mind wanders down that path, I’ve learned that God likes for me to go ahead and play it out and see what could and probably would happen… it’s never pretty.

  • Well being that he is my hubby this might be hard to do. LOL I think if we remember that they are human, just like us that maybe they won’t put them up on some unrealistic pedestal in the first place. Have to agree most of the time for women its more then just physical. Of course there are those ladies who think it would be great to be the First Lady. They don’t see the pressure, long hours, time of lonliness, etc that I have heard about from other pastors wives. Don’t believe me? Read this:

    It really isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence.

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