Looking Through The Eyes of The Unchurched
There is a lot of discussion about the “un-churched” and the “first time” attendee as it relates to things “The Church” can do to welcome this particular group of people. There are some that believe secular music helps to create a more inviting environment, others believe that you shouldn’t use words or phrases that only “church people” would use i.e. “Blood of the lamb” or “Praise and Worship.”
The real question is “What does the 1st timer or Un-Churched person expect?” Are they not looking for something different than they are getting in the world? Are they expecting people to use words and phrases they’re not familiar with?
There is definitely a balance of Comfort vs. Confrontation. Creating an environment that is comfortable and welcoming for the “Seeker” vs. an environment that confronts people with the truth. That confrontational environment will have worship, praying, sharing of scripture, participation, community and many other things that help engage people in their journey of a growing relationship with Christ.
I believe when un-churched or new people attend church, they expect and want to see something different than what they see in the world. They also expect to hear and see things they are not familiar with and that’s perfectly okay.
Looking through The Eyes Of The Un-Churched… What do you think they see, what do you think they expect?
22 Responses to “Looking Through The Eyes of The Unchurched”
It’s important that we make a distinction between being seeker-sensitive and Spirit-led. There IS a difference. Churches need to understand the difference and make a decision either way. I personally want to be involved in a Spirit-led church.
That will mean visitors will see things they don’t fully understand, feel things they’re not familiar with, and experience a better version of reality. And, as you said, that’s okay. That’s the way it SHOULD be. It was obvious to people during New Testament times that Jesus wasn’t your average everyday person. They came to Him to experience something different. He wasn’t just a storyteller and a good man. He changed them. They saw, felt and experienced things that were foreign to them.
I think people come to church to experience something different from the world they live in. Not as a form of escapism, but as a grounding in what is TRULY real.
Man, I think you’re right on. I understand communicating in a manner that helps people get the idea, but to try to re-frame everything to make someone comfortable may not be. I think people look to the church, and even re-look to the church to touch something powerful, at the very least more powerful than whatever they’re stuck in or battling through. Loving confrontation is welcomed in my experience. Go ahead and use ‘blood of the lamb’ but also give the story and the backstory to help people (even church people) get a grip on the sacrifice Jesus made. Pray for the sick, cuz a healed person can refute anyone’s theology or hangups.
Scott, good post. I normally agree with everything you say, however, I lean towards the opposite end of the spectrum with this topic. I think the bigger issue is that the church wants to be different from the world on the weekends, but not during the week. If singing more worship songs, letting the preacher speak longer, lighting a few extra candles, catering to the emotional needs of the church attender, and expecting the outsider to adjust and adapt to who we are is going to make the church act like the church throughout the week, then I am all for it. I’m just not convinced that this is the right formula. Once again, I Love your blog.
“Loving confrontation” Excellent!!
I believe that more churches need to be more aware of unchurched people visiting on a Sunday morning.
Too many times we go through our weekly services and barely pay attention to our guests.
It’s no wonder many never return.
Isn’t it true that to some extent, if we will just be the church, we won’t have to worry about whether they’ll come, or whether they’ll like it? I mean, if we just do the things Jesus said to do – the ones you do other than Sunday morning – won’t that be enough?
No criticism meant. Just thinking…
@suedensmore
Another great article, Scott! The gospel often will make the unchurched uncomfortable, but we must be careful that our behavior and our traditions do not cause them to miss seeing God in us.
Great Comments From Everyone…
Let me be clear I am the Pastor whose campus has played secular music as a walk-in/cover tune and our environment overall remains very sensitive and accommodating to the unchurched and first-timers; however I just think that we can over-think this whole un-churched thing.
@musicmaniac75- Amen and Amen… Spirit Led, I’m right there with ya’
@ecabello- Amen, yes we should give context… that helps the “Churched” as well.
@Jeremy- I don’t think we need more stuff for the sake of more stuff, as a matter of fact I prefer the 1hr. ish’ service.
@David- We have to pay attention to our 1st. timers, second timers…
@Sue- I couldn’t agree more, it’s more about what we do the other 6 days outside the four walls of the church.
@Danny- See God In Us!
My mum just took a young woman to a women’s conference that our church run every year. There were about 3000 women there, which is pretty large for our country (it’s the largest of it’s type here) and she was so incredibly excited to come when she heard about it.
Mum said it was amazing to walk in with her, she noticed details that my mum didn’t. The decorations, the little touches. She kept exclaiming about the people, the cool people, the young people, the older people. She loved the music, the opening, the message.
And she responded to the alter call.
I have no doubt God set that all up, but I also know doing things well, showing creativity, being welcoming and friendly and doing it with excellence all contributed.
It also jolted me not to take what we have for granted.
Dude!! A homerun post! This has both punched me in the face & encouraged me at the same time!! The comments have been equally thought provoking! With that said, I think the most effective thing we can do is to LIVE & BE the church mon-sat & sun will take care of itself! Why front like we care about “unchurched” on sun when on mon we look down on them or treat them less than? As for the Gospel, I don’t know of a time when it’s preached that it leaves anyone “comfortable”!!!
This post is thoughtful on many levels…
I don’t just think, but know that people expect the church to be “different”, from what they are getting “out there”…
What shocks them is when it isn’t… stew on that for a few…
I agree Scott,
I think we get entangled with catch phrases (‘seeker-sensitive’ can be just as much a catch phrase as ‘blood of the lamb’). I think we at times do things because of tradition or because everyone else is doing them – then we lean to ‘catch phrases’ that everyone generally has an idea about, but in reality we all often have very different meanings to go with those phrases. People have their own expectations based on their unique experiences.
In the US, I think many people have already formed expectations around what church is or should be. In our church I find that the same things that draw some repel others. Some who are new to church expect are and looking for a liturgical service with hymns – because growing up that’s how they saw church portrayed.
Even bringing something ‘different’ is relative. So many popular R&B singers grew up singing Gospel in church. They now bring those musical stylings in their soulful R&B style. So does Gospel now have to ‘change’ so it can be ‘different’ from ‘the world’?
Sorry for rambling.
Hey Scott. Great post.
Yes, I agree that the unchurched are COMING because they want something DIFFERENT than what their normal life has to offer. And it’s no secret that they are entering a church. They went on purpose. So I don’t think disguising your worship with secular music or taking out any language from your service that references the blood of Jesus, or any other difficult but important theology, is actually what they are looking for.
They are looking for… JESUS. (Now here come the theologians who will tell me no one seeks God, and He does the work of salvation, and… yes I know.)
My point is, they are coming to church seeking something, and when they meet Jesus, those deep needs are met.
And here’s where our church (Living Hope in St. Michael, MN) tries to find a balance… We try to remove UNNECESSARY BARRIERS for people who mare unfamiliar with church. We don’t change the message one drop. But we try to help them feel comfortable with the culture of the church experience, even when the message itself may be UNcomfortable.
For example, when we reference a passage of scripture, we often give some help as to how to find it. “Turn to John, Chapter 6… It’s about 2/3 through your Bible. If you hit Matthew, Mark, or Luke, take a right.” And if we pray the Lord’s Prayer as a group, we just put it up on the screen. Most people close their eyes, and don’t look anyway. But if someone is unchurched, they might appreciate being able to take part – intead of it being another reminder that they’re an outsider.
Make sense? Let the MESSAGE make them uncomfortable if necessary, Let the ENVIRONMENT make them as comfortable as possible.
Whoah – quick but important follow-up to the post above…
I hope I didn’t just insult anyone with the phrase “disguising your worship with secular music.” My point was simply that I think secular music isn’t necessary for unchurched folk to feel comfortable. They are expecting some form of church music, after all. Nothing wrong with some secular stuff as part of the mix.
Besides, our Team just opened a service a week ago blending a U2 intro cover with one of our worship songs. It was tasty, fun, beautiful, majestic, and a facet of the freedom we have to worship with joy. So there you go.
I feel that we have an obligation to the lost to do everything possible, short of sinning to reach them. When we go to another country for missions, we study their culture, dress like them, listen to their songs, and participate in their traditions. Living here in the states, we often feel that since the other guy looks like me we don’t need to apply this same process.
I think we have to consider the lost when planning our services. We don’t need to create unintentional barriers for them, and also we need to utilize any means necessary to let them know that their questions about God and life are valid.
Some use secular music, or secular movie clips to relate to the lost. This is a proven method to help tear down walls that the enemy has erected in that person’s heart. Meet the lost where they are, and don’t expect them to accept our man-made vernacular and Christian bubbles.
Many of us that have a problem with secular elements in church often listen to secular music in the car, watch secular tv, secular sports shows, and secular movies. WE are the church…not a building. Our focus should be to love Jesus, be led by the Spirit, love the lost, and encourage others in the Lord.
Sorry this was so long…my bad…my bad.
I don’t know if I can claim to see through the eyes of the unchurched anymore than most of you. Been to a lot of churches. The common factor for me is never whether the environment is comfortable or confrontational. Sorry, that’s just the show. I hate to pick on LC again, but you guys have turned the uncomfortable confrontation with the scripture into an art form of comfort. I can go to any LC campus in OKC and be confronted with the gospel, all while eating popcorn or a bag of chips, drinking soda or a cup of coffee, watching the mini-concert and the movie that confronts me with the gospel, and never even have a single person talk to me. Unless I approach them. I’ve been a first-timer in every LC campus in the OKC area.
Then again, my “invites” are never by someone I know in “RL”. I’m guessing unlike most of the unchurched or “first time” attendees. So maybe that’s the missing ingredient. You need to actually know an alien, have developed some relationship with him or her, before you show up at the mothership. Or it turns into an “uncomfortable confrontation” for everyone involved. (grin)
And you should know that I had to work very very very hard to resist temptation on commenting on some of the comments here. But come on! There’s a lot of juicy alien phrases in here that the “unchurched” will not get at all! Fortunately, they’ll probably never read them either. (grin)
Sorry about picking on LC again, Scott. All I can fall back on here is the 800lb. gorilla thingy. You better be getting some kinda credit for putting up with me the most. (grin)
Great posting Scott:
My personal opionion from experience is that people are looking to hear from God. They don’t know what its about, but they are expecting a God that punishes and can tell them what to do so they can follow until there issues are resolved. (Just keeping it real here)… I firmly believe that it is up to everyone (we are all called) to practice the two greatest commands… You shall love the Lord your God with all your mind, with all your heart with all your strength (why? because if you truly love God you walk in the love of God which is what they are missing when they come.) the second, you shall love your neighbor as you love yourself (this is by far the greatest commandment to follow, because not everyone loves themself so how are they going to show love to anyone else). But if we realize that we are God’s maximum creation and learn to love ourselve, respect ourselve and treat ourselves as belonging to God and not us, then again we can walk in God’s love and not judge what anyone else has done or not done. When someone comes for the first time to a church, they are looking for a change in their life and the life of their family. If we hide what is different or say we can’t be too churchy, we are missing out in what God wants to do when He says “come just as you are”. They are looking to be heard, loved and not judge. They are looking for the fish, and it is our job to give them the fish and also teach them how to catch it. I always say, just let the Holy Spirit move, say and do whatever He wants. There is a talent that we all have and must use inside where God is the center and outside where we talk their language and do whatever it takes. Inside the Church, God’s House, God is expecting to move as He wills. Outside in the street and else where God is expecting us to move in however way we must and use everything in the world (in line with His word), because everything is with Him, by Him and for Him.
Pastor Martha
You can polish a turd … and pretty it up, but when people accept it… there will always be that faint odor of , well crap… and it will leave the acceptee disillusioned…
You don’t have to polish a diamond, just cut it… people already want it…
I know right, wierd comment … but think about it…
Hey Scott, I’m pickin up what your puttin down my Brother! People come to church seeking answers and healing to deep seated issues that exist within all of us. If we, as a body of Believers intentionally seek to meet those needs, answer the real questions that they have as we intro them to Christ, and not necessarily Christians, I don’t believe the music, length of service, or any other tag on makes a whole lot of difference. The un-Churched want love and acceptance. They want an environment that’s safe enough for them to begin the process of investigating Christ. I believe if they’ve come, then the Holy Spirit has already begun His ministry of conviction and drawing a person to Himself. We just gotta make sure we don’t get in the way my Brother. So pump the music, set the cultural vibe, but lift up Jesus, and He’ll doing the drawing. Great discussion piece…i’m grappling with the same questions as we seek to launch our new church in Northern, Va.
Brother, that’s my two and a half cents…for whatever that’s worth.
Pastor Ant
Why are the ‘unchurched’ coming to ‘church’?
What do you think they’re looking for?
Good modern music? old fashioned music? good preaching? good singing? Artistic expression?
Love. It’s love. Everything else is a distraction.
Love is the one thing that is meant to communicate to people that these are true disciples. That’s how you’re meant to be recognised.
If you love and don’t have good music then people will return.
If you love and have crap preaching, then people will return.
Love doesn’t just happen on Sundays, it’s there all the time. Mask wearing and pretense happens on Sundays — people see through that.
People aren’t looking to meet with people that pretend to have it all together. They want to see how love and grace work in the lives of people just like them – broken and confused.
Church doesn’t allow that. That’s why church attendance is no longer seen as relevant – because it’s not.
Worship services should be designed for worshipers of God. If you are going to have a “seeker” service, then design it for seekers. You need either one or the other or both. Trying to mix the two doesn’t make any sense. It’s the difference between teaching (growing spiritually) and evangelism (the great commission). Somewhere along the way we started singing “I Am Saved by the Blood of the Lamb” followed by a fire and brimstone sermon and a 2 hour alter call. That confuses a group. Are you saved or do you need to be saved? Things can get so mixed up. Focusing on one thing at a time takes more time, effort and money, something that most churches just don’t have. I don’t know what the answer is, but I know that trying to have meaningful worship for believers and reaching seekers at the same time will leave both groups lacking quality and clarity.
If God is visible in your service, it will be irrelevant whether it is “seeker” oriented. People are seeking God. If they can see him, they will be interested. In the first place, a 22 year old hip hop fan will probably not drop in the Church of The Servant’s ultra conservative service, and so forth.