GUEST BLOGGER: @johncatkinson is The Director of Multi-Site Ministries at Bay Area Fellowship Church in Corpus Christi, Texas. You can checkout his blog PastorJohnAtkinson.com. If you would like to submit a Guest Blog Post for BigIsTheNewSmall.com, click here.
Learning To Say “No”
If you’re in Church leadership you have a tough job, and every day is about learning something new. Over the years I have learned many lessons, most the hard way because I’m just not that smart, but I don’t think any lesson was harder than learning to say no.
Let’s be honest, no matter how many times you do it, saying no is tough, but not learning to say no when no is the right answer, will ultimately be even tougher.
Why is it so hard to say no?
- Because it often means saying no to good people you love and respect.
- Because sometimes it means saying no to good ideas.
- Because the people you say no to will either criticize you, be angry at you, or accuse you!
- Because no one wants people mad at them, criticizing them, or accusing them.
- The most important reason leaders never learn to say no is, saying yes is easier!
Here’s a tough question to ask yourself, if the right answer is no, do any of the above actually change it to a yes? I believe one of the laws of the lid in leadership is the inability to say no because of the fear of the relational mess it might cause. But just because an idea is good, and was brought to you by good people, doesn’t mean you should automatically say yes to it. The vision of your church is delivered to you by God, and it is unique to your church, and if you’re clear on what that vision is, then anything, good or bad, that takes you away from that vision, is not something you should say yes to.
After years of having to clean up self induced messes caused by my inability to say no, I think I’ve finally learned this:
I have never once regretted saying no when the right answer was no, but I have ALWAYS regretted saying yes when I knew no was the right answer!