Archive - May, 2010

Do It Anyway!


People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;  Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives;  Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies;  Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;  Be honest anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;  Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;  Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;  Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;  Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;  It was never between you and them anyway.

~Mother Teresa

dream BIG. think BIGGER.

Free Friday "FREE For All!"

freeI am about to take FREE Friday to a whole nutha’ level.  I have a stack of new books that I have double and triple copies of books that I have collected from conferences and people sending them to me over the last year.  I have decided to give them away to for FREE Friday.  I had sent out a tweet earlier to find out if other people wanted to give some things away and many of you responded, so here is what I have decided to do.

If you want to give something away, whether that be a product, service, app. etc.  It’s as easy as 1-2-3:

  1. Share what you are giving away in the comment section.
  2. Wait until midnight and select a random winner or winners. (Post Winners in Comment Section)
  3. Get in contact with the people who won and get them whatever they won.

Handle your communication in the comment section and take all the details of how to obtain or receive winnings off-line if necessary.

If you want to win something, it’s as easy as 1-2-3:

  1. Leave a comment stating which item that you would like to win. (You can enter to win multiple things, just leave 1 comment per item that you would like to win).
  2. Check throughout the day to see what items are being listed.
  3. Check back after midnight to see if you won.

Feel FREE to Tweet or Facebook about FREE Friday “FREE For All!”

TGIFF Thank Goodness It’s FREE Friday!

I’ll Go First!

Becoming a Molder Of Consensus

consensusTrying hard, working hard and managing can often times be confused with leading.  Leadership is about leading people and creating a natural movement.  Leaders lead people, managers manage things.  A leader should be in the business of creating a culture of movement, a culture of action and a culture of success.

You might ask, “How does a leader do this?”  Leaders are either innately gifted at leading or develop an ability to create buy-in to what they’re selling.  They are able to sell their leadership with a compelling vision and more importantly what’s inside of them is compelling.  Leaders don’t sit around and wait on the wind to blow or people to tell them what to do.   Leaders get things done and develop an army of people to get it done with them.

Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus.”  That is one of the most true statements about leadership, it’s not about searching for others to provide answers.  Leadership is about pointing towards a destination and walking the walk until you get there.  If you walk the walk and people believe in what you are selling they will follow you.

If you are molding a sculpture into a beautiful work of art, it takes time to shape, create and form.  The same is true for leadership, it takes time to mold, create and shape a leadership culture of success.

Stop searching for consensus and start molding consensus.

dream BIG. think BIGGER.

What have been your experiences working those who search for consensus and those who mold consensus?  Are you a searcher or molder?

We Do Not Serve Volunteers!

volunteer1GUEST BLOGGER: Today’s guest blogpost comes from @EstherRennick. Esther Rennick is an adventurer, administrator, writer, and songwriter from Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada.  Check out her blog Adventures Of Lady Esther:  If you would like to submit a Guest Blog Post for, click here.

We Do Not Serve Volunteers!

Churches around the world give the call to Christians to serve.  Millions answer that call in the form of serving in their local church.

For many church volunteers, the experience is positive.  With the help of church staff and organizers, the volunteer is given the open door to effectively serve while still having the time to work and have family life.

Unfortunately, this is not the experience of all church volunteers.  Many experience a sign posted on the front of the church that says, “We Do Not Serve Volunteers!”

Thousands of volunteers have given up their ministry because they have become burned out and disillusioned.  Fingers are pointed as to who is at fault; however, the end result is many have given up on their calling and sit in pews week after week not serving.

If your church has any of the following symptoms, the sign on your front lawn may say “We Do Not Serve Volunteers!”

A Volunteer . . .

  • is asked to serve for two hours but it takes six.
  • is frequently “expected” to do over and above what they were asked to do.
  • is not given the resources they need to do their part.
  • is made to feel that their “smaller ministry” is not as important as the “bigger ministry.”
  • must work with church scheduling that is not organized.  Volunteers may arrive to find the church door locked and meetings cancelled with no notice given.
  • will not have a mentor – only potential volunteers receive this service.
  • should not expect to grow in their ministry.  Volunteers should be prepared to be stuck in their present role forever even if they are a budding leader.
  • must be patient and understand responses to emails and telephone calls will not be promptly answered by church leaders or staff.  Inquiries may not even be answered.
  • should not give suggestions for improvement or articulate what is not working because that is “complaining” which is not allowed.
  • must be understanding that it is alright for full-time church staff to work less hours a week than volunteers do.  Volunteers are expected to give more.

Volunteers may hear the words that they are loved and appreciated but actions speak louder than words.

If you are not sure that the sign on the front of your church is “We Serve Volunteers!” begin dialoguing with your volunteers.  Approach them with a servant heart.  Ask them to share with you what makes it difficult for them to volunteer in your church.

Make the decision to make the changes needed in your church that will allow the sign “We Serve Volunteers!” to be proudly displayed on the front of your church.  Set a shining example in your community of how to serve all people – including volunteers.

Share your thoughts and experiences!

To Tip Or Not To Tip!

tip3It was a rainy Saturday evening after church that my family and I decided to go to Outback Steakhouse for dinner.  We are not much of steak eaters but we can load up on their Kookaburra Wings and Aussie Fries minus the bacon.  After being seated for about 7 minutes, a waitress stopped by and said “I’ll be with you guys in a minute.”  I noticed she proceeded to the host stand to have a conversation with the hostess’s and other waitresses before coming back to take our order.

We ordered our food and let me tell you this lady had an attitude.  We showed her the benefit of the doubt, smiled and maintained a polite composure.  It seemed as though the night got progressively worse, everything from snappin’ to my kids question, to leaving my water cup as dry as the desert, to answering questions with “I don’t know” (with no intentions of finding out the answer).  I had to ask one of the other waitresses to refil our drinks and get us some Tabasco sauce.

It was so bad that my son who was 10 years old at the time said,  “Dad, our waitress is mean and acts like she doesn’t even want to help us.  Are you going to give her a tip?”  I had to pause for a second before I answered, because I take every teaching moment with my boys seriously.  My response was this, “Son, I will give her something, but it will not be much at all.  It’s important for you to remember that you are not entitled to anything.  It doesn’t matter whether you’re having a good day or a bad day, you have to earn your way.  That’s Life.”

I remember sending a tweet out about my experience and the fact that my tip reflected our poor service.  I was amazed at the responses that I received from my Twitter and Facebook Peeps.  I received comments stating everything from: We are all sinners and need grace, to tell me the Outback and the waitress’ name and I’ll send her $25, to I wouldn’t have given her anything and 50 other comments in between.

As far as tips are concerned I’m a double the tax and round up kinda guy, which results in about 20%.  If the service is exceptional and my water cup stays topped off you may jump up to about 30% or more.  To Tip or Not To Tip totally depends upon the service.  I am the same guy who will ask to speak to the manager if I receive excellent customer service at a restaurant or even over the phone.  I have even blogged about superb customer service here.  Waiters and Waitresses are in the service industry and they get paid for a service, it’s not an entitlement culture because they make a nominal amount per hour.

Gratuity is defines asA relatively small amount of money given for services rendered, something given without claim or obligation.

If your lawn guy only mows half of your lawn, your hair stylist only does half of your hair, your nail tech only does one hand or your doctor only gives you half of a physical? Would they expect to be paid in full? Absolutely Not!  Yes everyone is entitled to have a bad day; however if you are in the service industry that bad day can affect your bottom line.

One Another Note- As I was having a conversation with someone who has been in the restaurant business for awhile, they explained to me that Black Folks are known for being poor tippers.  Now this may only be true for Oklahoma and their experiences…  Seriously, I had never heard of such a thing.  I asked a few other people in the restaurant/serving and they confirmed.  Wha?  You have got to be kidding me!  Tip On!

To Tip or Not To Tip!  It all depends on the service!

What are your thoughts?  Where do you fall on the tip continuum?  Have you ever heard anything like what I mentioned in the On Another Note section?

We are all family, share Your Thoughts!

5 Ways Businesses Should Leverage Social Media

social mediaThe World Of Social Media is here to stay and that has major implications for the business sector, organizations and Corporate America.  There are over 200 million bloggers, over 500 million Facebook users, 50 million Twitter users and 34% of these folks post opinions about products and brands.  Theses shared opinions are a big deal, as 78% of consumers trust peer recommendations and only 14% trust advertisements.

The problem with social media advertising is that many companies don’t have a clear understanding of how to leverage social media for their business.  There are a growing number of businesses whose primary focus and business model is to help organizations leverage social media and they will even do all of the social media work for you.

Here are 5 Ways Businesses Should Leverage Social Media

Know Your Voice- This is the golden rule as it pertains to Social Media.  If you are speaking on behalf of John Q Organization, make sure that you speak from that voice.  Businesses tend to confuse or overlap the voice of their personal brand with their business brand.

If you are tweeting or posting Facebook updates for your Coffee Shop, you should not be tweeting about mowing your grass, unless of course you are mentioning that it’s time to have a nice cup of Joe afterwards.  An easy solution to make sure your business voice is the one speaking is to ask this question before posting — If my company could tweet or post, would they share this?

Be Social- The most important thing about social media is the social part and not the media.  If you look @Starbucks  and @Southwestair  Twitter streams, they are always interacting with customers and people.   Be Social, Be Accessible, Be Social, Be Relevant, Be Social, Be Authentic, Be Social, Be Real, Be Social, Be about Your Brand, Be Social, Be Entertaining, Be Social and did I mention BE SOCIAL!

The statistics that I shared in the beginning of this post about 78% of customers trust peer recommendations drives home the importance of being social.  I think that research could be extended to say that people are more likely to trust and promote brands they feel connected to.  Be Social!

Make A Name For Yourself- This is a two-part solution.  1.) Make sure that your Twitter and Facebook names are simple, easy to remember and relevant to your company.  2.) Make a name for your company by being active in the world of social media.  Have tweet-ups at your place, provide social-media only specials, have promotions that demand viral interaction and be creative.  @dealsplus  is the master of demanding online viral interaction.  It does not matter if your company is large, small, on-line, or has a physical location, you can Make A Name For Yourself. Familiarizing yourself with the 111 Twitter Tools will help you to become efficient at making a name for yourself.

Make Your Profile Work- Make sure your Twitter and Facebook profile represent your company.  If your business is a coffee shop be sure to have your logo as your profile pic. and not your personal glamour shot.  Check out my 6 Ways To Make Your Twitter Profile Work.

Have a Primary Social Media Application- The cool thing about the success of Twitter is that Facebook and Twitter have become kissing cousins.   There are many applications that automate the connection of the two platforms.  Although I encourage the multi-updates in both spaces, it is helpful to focus on one platform as your primary.  For me personally, my primary is Twitter, although every single tweet goes to my Facebook community.

It is great for a business to encourage their customers to connect with them on multiple Social Media medians; however having one or the other as a primary helps with clarity.  Imagine your company as bi-lingual.  The question is: Is your company’s native language Twitterese or Facebookese?  Answer that question and speak that language to your customers.

The bottom line is that Social Media can definitely be a benefit to every business and business owner.  Use It, Try It, Be It, Become A Fan Of It, Study It, Know It, Become Good At Leveraging It.  In the future, “It” Can Make or Break Your Company.

“It” Is Social Media!

What do you think?  What companies do a great job of leveraging Social Media?  Share your thoughts. Buys Google AdWords To Reach People Searching For Porn

porneventIf I am being completely honest, the one thing that has shocked me since I have been in full-time vocational ministry, is the number of Men that come into my office to talk about their struggle with pornography.  Statistically 50% of Christian Men struggle with pornography.

Over the years, my naivety has turned into the harsh realization that pornography is a huge problem that’s plaguing the Christian community and society in general.  It’s great to see organizations like fight the good fight and help people who are struggling with this sin.  In the next couple of weeks, there will be an event help address this problem and provide solutions.

Starting today May 23rd thru May 28th, and present, a 25-minute interactive experience focused on the real-life effects of pornography. has two segments, one for men and one for women.  These online “Billy Graham Like” crusade will free many people from this devastating sin.  More details and the schedule can be found at

What I really like about this event is that is strategically going after those people who are searching for pornography.  We have bought tons of google AdWords to help bring folks that are searching for porn face to face with help, stories from people with similar struggles and hear a message about a God who loves them unconditionally.  Imagine someone surfing the web right now and searching for words like: Sex, Porn, Boobies, Naked Ladies and many more that I can’t mention ( is family friendly).  As they are searching imagine an advertisement that reads something like “Looking for naked ladies? Click here or Looking for boobies? click here!”  I just love this concept…  truly going into all the world. we will examine the effect porn has on people’s lives and relationships, and look at next steps for those who are struggling. Expect a non-threatening environment featuring stories, helpful answers, and an open conversation with people who’ve traveled a similar path. is for anyone who is interested in what it looks like to live a life beyond pornography.

The Porn Event is happening right now, spread the word and join the conversation at

What do you think about the use of Google AdWords to draw people in?

It's Time To Grow Up! — Sex Education For Your Kids

birds and beesAs many of you know I have a 5th grade son who is matriculating to middle school.  We have already talked about the “Birds & The Bees” this year and agreed to keep an open dialogue and have progressive discussions.  Our agreement is that he can ask me anything and I will give him a straight answer.  We also agreed that these discussions are between he and I… we decided to leave mom out of the mix.

This week he came home with a little book that his parents were supposed to go through with him.  The book is called “Always Changing & Growing:  Boys Guide.” Because of our agreement he told his mom that he couldn’t talk to her about the book and he has to talk to his dad.  The first item on the discussion agenda was, “How and when is sperm developed?”

I thought I would simply share the glossary of terms that are in the book: Note- The (sarcasm) below is just for chuckles for the BigIsTheNewSmall readers, my son and I talk very candid about this stuff.

  • Apocrine glands– Sweat glands under arms and genitals. (Deodorant & soap are important to a 6th grader).
  • Circumcision– Medical or religious procedure by in which the Dr. or Clergy cuts away the foreskin from the penis.  (I’m considered Clergy & I’m not cutting any foreskin).
  • Eccrine glands- Sweat glands all over body (Again soap is important).
  • Ejaculation– Forceful release of semen from the penis. (I’m gonna try to convince him they are talking about concrete or sement).
  • Erection- Hardening of the penis (Again, this will have something to do with concrete or sement setting up and getting hard).
  • Foreskin- The fold of skin that covers the end of the penis.  (Uhh, I got nothing for this one).
  • Penis– Male reproductive organ.  (This is an instrument you play, kinda like a piano.).
  • Semen- A sticky fluid that contains sperm and various other secretions. (Again this is the consistency of concrete and sement before it hardens).
  • Sperm– The male reproductive cell. (It’s like a little swimming fish that has races with other swimming fish, you were once one of these swimming fish and you were fast enough to win the race).
  • Testicles- The male reproductive glands.  (Balls is the most simple answer).
  • Wet dream- The ejaculation of semen out of the penis during sleep. (A wet dream is when you pee on yourself).

These are not all of the terms discussed in the book and found in the glossary; however this is the majority of them.  Although I tried to make light of the situation/terminology, I understand and embrace the seriousness of these types of discussion.  My son and I have an amazing relationship and our initial conversation about the Birds and The Bees about 6 months ago was exceptional.  I used my 7 Methods To Talk To My Son About Sex.

What are your thoughts about these terms and the whole process of talking to your kids about sex and development.  When is it too early?  Share your thoughts!

New Lead Pastor Search — Bryan, Ohio

vanderbloemenNew Lead Pastor Announcement, The Details are below:

ChurchNew Hope Community Church

Location– Bryan, Ohio

Cool Facts–  As the current Lead Pastor approaches 25 years of service, the Elders of New Hope have made a prudent move to prepare the church for its future by working with our firm to create a succession plan that will enable a smooth transition and hand-off of leadership long before the norm in most churches.

New Hope is in a healthy spot, and poised for the future, since the church by God’s grace has grown over the years to be more regional in nature reflecting excellence through its programming and offerings.

The successful future Lead Pastor will be a superb communicator, a visionary, and a small groups fan.

If you are interested or any have questions, please contact the Vanderbloemen Search Group here or submit your resume here.  All information/correspondence is held in confidence between you and the Vanderbloemen Search Group.  Should your church is interested in this type of search, feel free to contact me personally

Why” Questions with “Who” Answers

WhatGUEST BLOGGER: Today’s guest blogpost comes from @wolmike.  Check out his website here.  If you would like to submit a Guest Blog Post for, click here.

Why” Questions with “Who” Answers

God often answers our “Why” questions with “Who” answers. Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people? The millennial generation is asking this and other difficult questions – and expecting answers.

Tragedy and crisis are not foreign concepts to this generation. From disappointment to terrorism, they are confronted with the “new norm” in the world in which they live. They are genuinely concerned about the earthquakes in Haiti and Chile. They care about third-world countries whose people are starving. This global sensitivity has left many of them with empty answers or complicated questions.

They are not content to leave their questions about life, death, pain, and injustice unanswered. When Millennials are not taught how faith intersects with real life they often abandon faith in search of satisfactory answers.

This generation wants more than clique Christianity.  The need is clear for a more comprehensive, no-expense answers to difficult complexities of life.  Boldness is required to answer the “Why” questions in the same way God does in scripture — by turning attention to the character and nature of Himself.

After being a believer for many years, I came to a startling realization: I knew very little about the nature of God. This led me to a study of God’s attributes and an aggressive search through the scriptures and other classics like The Knowledge of the Holy by A.W. Tozer and The God You Can Know by Dan DeHaan.

I determined to record my observations and thoughts on the Attributes of God for six months – which led to another six months which led to… Well after twenty years, I still begin my mornings meditating on one of His attributes and feel I continue to occupy a seat in the remedial class.

I am not an authority on this topic but I can tell you that it gives stability in crisis. My moment of truth came after my twenty-four year old daughter was killed in a tragic car accident. As I walked in utter desperation, crying out to God, I came to embrace a pivotal concept for my life, “My world had fallen apart but everything I knew about God was still true.”

Why do we fear answering the “Why” questions with “Who?” Perhaps it is because we are uncomfortable with the answer ourselves. Our finite minds find it hard to comprehend a God who is Sovereign when we hear about the realities of earthquakes, tsunami’s or a life cut short by a drunk driver. God does not fit neatly into our cliché Christianity or utopian worldview.

It is natural to struggle with answering questions about tragedy and God. We must unapologetically offer authentic Biblical answers gleaned from the anvil of our own lives. Millennials can handle and will embrace authentic truth.

What Do You Think?

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