It's Time To Grow Up! — Sex Education For Your Kids

birds and beesAs many of you know I have a 5th grade son who is matriculating to middle school.  We have already talked about the “Birds & The Bees” this year and agreed to keep an open dialogue and have progressive discussions.  Our agreement is that he can ask me anything and I will give him a straight answer.  We also agreed that these discussions are between he and I… we decided to leave mom out of the mix.

This week he came home with a little book that his parents were supposed to go through with him.  The book is called “Always Changing & Growing:  Boys Guide.” Because of our agreement he told his mom that he couldn’t talk to her about the book and he has to talk to his dad.  The first item on the discussion agenda was, “How and when is sperm developed?”

I thought I would simply share the glossary of terms that are in the book: Note- The (sarcasm) below is just for chuckles for the BigIsTheNewSmall readers, my son and I talk very candid about this stuff.

  • Apocrine glands– Sweat glands under arms and genitals. (Deodorant & soap are important to a 6th grader).
  • Circumcision– Medical or religious procedure by in which the Dr. or Clergy cuts away the foreskin from the penis.  (I’m considered Clergy & I’m not cutting any foreskin).
  • Eccrine glands- Sweat glands all over body (Again soap is important).
  • Ejaculation– Forceful release of semen from the penis. (I’m gonna try to convince him they are talking about concrete or sement).
  • Erection- Hardening of the penis (Again, this will have something to do with concrete or sement setting up and getting hard).
  • Foreskin- The fold of skin that covers the end of the penis.  (Uhh, I got nothing for this one).
  • Penis– Male reproductive organ.  (This is an instrument you play, kinda like a piano.).
  • Semen- A sticky fluid that contains sperm and various other secretions. (Again this is the consistency of concrete and sement before it hardens).
  • Sperm– The male reproductive cell. (It’s like a little swimming fish that has races with other swimming fish, you were once one of these swimming fish and you were fast enough to win the race).
  • Testicles- The male reproductive glands.  (Balls is the most simple answer).
  • Wet dream- The ejaculation of semen out of the penis during sleep. (A wet dream is when you pee on yourself).

These are not all of the terms discussed in the book and found in the glossary; however this is the majority of them.  Although I tried to make light of the situation/terminology, I understand and embrace the seriousness of these types of discussion.  My son and I have an amazing relationship and our initial conversation about the Birds and The Bees about 6 months ago was exceptional.  I used my 7 Methods To Talk To My Son About Sex.

What are your thoughts about these terms and the whole process of talking to your kids about sex and development.  When is it too early?  Share your thoughts!

  • Sex talks with my oldest son were the best. We laughed until our sides ached!

  • You are such a guy!

    Nothing wrong with that, but not being a guy, and having been through this already with my Husband and our CollegeSon, I think it is not too early to interject some values with the laughter. The gist of what you posted is to teach him about his body factually and that can be a segue into how he ‘feels’ and how to respond to those feelings. Not so funny, I know. Next school year his reference for information will expand exponentially. Do you want him to think of you as the ‘joke’ reference?

    No criticism from me on what you posted, but since you asked….

  • By the time my father sat down with me for the “talk” I was finishing his sentences as he stumbled through them. I think this was my sixth grade year. By that time I had already known all the stuff that he was telling me and infact I was sharing with him stuff he had never heard. While it would be nice to withhold the inforation and prolong their innocense the reality is our middle school students are doing things only juniors and seniors were brave enough to do in our high school days. Making the subject less taboo and more humorous for a guy allows him to process it verbaly instead of experimentally. Because there was no open dialouge between my parents and myself, I was very very curious, and pursued that curiosity through other avenues.

  • I am the mother of 3 – Twin Girls age 8, son age 3. About 2 months ago, while discussing the “alternative” high school we drive by frequently in our town, my Twin A stated, “I can’t control whether I get pregnant in high school or not!” I think I smoked the brakes on the minivan while trying to stop this conversation! LOL! Basically, I told her, “Yes! You can!” and “We’ll talk about this later.” Which resulted in a late night internet search for a good, biblical book about birds and bees for a (then) 7 year old! I came up with “Before I Was Born (God’s Design for Sex)” by Carolyn Nystrom. (Link: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1600060145/ref=oss_product) It’s pretty basic, and definitely not what we’ll get in 5th grade here, but it was a GREAT start and opened up a great conversation! I wanted to start early and establish that openness that is so important. Two things we never discussed in my house growing up? Sex and Money. I made lots of mistakes along the way in both of those categories. Start early, and keep the lines of communication OPEN!

    And a funny side note from that first discussion? I got the girls all comfy in my bed with me, had the book behind my back, and opened the conversation with the question “What can you tell me about where babies come from?” In true second grade fashion, Twin B raised her hand emphatically, wiggling fingers and all, and I prompted her to answer. She said, “The Momma Duck lays the egg, then she sits on it, then the baby duck cracks open the egg shell and comes out!” She was SO excited to know the right answer, but I couldn’t help but to double over in laughter! I told her that was all correct, but I meant HUMAN babies. Twin B then told me the baby grows in the Mommy’s tummy for 11 months. I then thought we might be on the right page and it was OK to continue! LOL!

    I also bought a book for them to read more on their own, called “What’s the Big Deal?: Why God Cares About Sex (God’s Design for Sex)” by Brenna Jones, but it will stay in my closet for a bit as I looked through it and it is over their second grade heads. Maybe in a year we can try it out!

    Hard parenting topic, FOR SURE! After Potty Training (which turned out to be a breeze for all 3 of mine!), this was my next most dreaded parenting phase! 🙂

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  • LOL!!!! The one for “penis” is CLASSIC!!!!! Thank you for the laugh this morning!

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