Comments on: Stop Lusting After Your Pastor!

By: Dan Cruz

Dan Cruz — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 14:18:33 +0000

Moral weakness attracts Moral weakness. In a room of 600, I as a Pastor have constantly observed that the morally weak will some how gravitate towards people I happen to know are struggling in the same area, many times without a word having been spoken. I’ve often shared with my wife in conversation about congregants, “I sure hope these people don’t sit next to each other anytime soon”

By: Lynn

Lynn — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 13:21:28 +0000

I couldn’t believe it while reading this article…this is EXACTLY what happened to me. I was under a man of God for 7 years and NEVER had an eye on him. It wasn’t until I started having marital problems. He counseled me on several occasions about it, and eventually he became more personal with his own issues of lust.

The adversary is very insidious. If you are weak already, and the person you have eyes for is also weak, this makes for a terrible outcome. Let’s just say, I’ve had to walk away from that local body, as devastating as that was. My family was affected and my husband is hurting, thinking about why I would compromise our relationship.

Thank you for the insight, because running was all I knew to do to salvage my relationship with my husband.

By: Carol

Carol — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 18:06:07 +0000

“Your vision becomes clear when you look inside your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.” Carl Jung

By: DisneyCyndi

DisneyCyndi — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 16:46:55 +0000

Hey Scott I don’t think this one applies to me? LOL

By: Casey Tygrett

Casey Tygrett — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 16:06:34 +0000

Excellent post, and I think this spins off into several different directions as well. The pastor as personality set up that exists in most churches isn’t helpful in this area. The idea of spiritual and organizational power is still attractive, whether male or female. Leadership, organization, public presence, effusive personality, all of these are hallmarks of what most churches are looking for in an ‘up-front” leader and yet these are the magnets that attract emotional, physical, and ultimately sexual desires.

One question would be this: what is the local church doing to call this out and address it on a regular basis? How can the pastor do this without sounding like, “Well, since I know several of you can’t concentrate because you want me…”

Thanks for the post!

By: Tony Moore

Tony Moore — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 20:40:03 +0000

It’s called the same thing in the church: abuse of power, assault/battery (unlawful touching) and sexual harassment. There’s also a general term for it: sin.

By: Jimmy Hankins

Jimmy Hankins — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 12:43:04 +0000

Sorry Scott, you just don’t do it for me. (grin)
I actually think women have it worse than men when it comes to “acquaintance” lust. IMHO, with women, it’s concept first, then visual. Pretty much the opposite of men. So, someone they had absolutely no lust for, can suddenly transform into an “object” of lust because their concept of the person suddenly changed. Something that was said, or done by the guy, triggers a memory response and reaction that makes the guy suddenly “desirable”. Whereas before that, nada.

That bouncing eyeball thing always makes me laugh. How does a good looking person know when they’ve encountered a Christian? The lamb never ever looks directly at them! This is why more ugly people get saved…(ducks!) (grin)

By: Dani

Dani — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 03:39:49 +0000

Great article and I’m glad you addressed the this issue. Women do indeed get a pass on lust because it often doesn’t manifest as viscerally as it does in men and it is still taboo in many church environments for women to acknowledge normal sexual urges (that’s another topic). Women tend to be fantasy oriented instead of purely physically oriented; so the sexual lust is usually enhanced by notions of a man’s personality, character, and general presence. You did a good job describing the thought process of a woman strugglin’ on a Sunday morning.

Men are often chastised for objectifying the female body, but women are guilty of objectifying men through mental fantasies of them as the perfect husband, lover, friend, etc., which is just as insidious.

One thing women can do to eradicate lustful thoughts towards a church leader is to repent of selfish objectification and recognize first that her pastor is human and has faults like anyone else. The image you see on Sunday morning is still only a slice of his daily persona. The wife God chose for him is uniquely equipped to love him and vice versa.

Secondly, women should pray for their pastor and his wife/family. Lust is selfish while love is selfless. Praying for people changes the heart – pretty soon, a woman who previously saw her pastor as a romantic figure will move into a place of purity and brotherly love where she wants the best for him and his family.

Thirdly, good and bad thoughts hit us constantly but we have an obligation to bring them under subjection to the Word and Spirit. When the lustful thought comes we have to identify it, and counter it with truth and life – replacing the negative with the positive.

By: Jason

Jason — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 21:28:04 +0000

Lust is a problem, period.

Good post, man.

By: J.Jackson

J.Jackson — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 21:24:12 +0000

I find it interesting that a story on the same topic, but with the sexes reversed, would likely include some sort of exhortation to women to dress modestly so as not to tempt men with their appearance. Are men exempt from any responsibility for causing women to stumble, unlike women who “tempt” men? Or are do men bear the primary responsibility for causing women to stumble, as women seem to when it comes to men’s struggles?

Just curious – I’ve seen this dichotomy often as I’ve grown up in the church.