How To Effectively Handle Criticism

Criticism is a one of those words that seems to cut most people like a knife.  Although the knife doesn’t seem as sharp when we put the word “constructive” in front of the word criticism; none-the-less the word still seems to pierce.

When I was growing up my mom would always tell me: “Son, you can’t control or worry about what people say… you can only control what you say and what you do.”  Later on in life, as a young leader I had a mentor that would always say “If you’re doing something worthy of people taking shots at you… they will.  I would much rather have a leader that people don’t always understand and who are occasionally criticized, than a “leader” that no one ever talks about.”   I’ve heard one of my old pastors say something like, “If you want to find the leader, look for the one with the arrow in their back!”

I tend to view criticism as neutral… “It Is What It Is!” I prefer to “Eat The Meat and Spit Out The Bones!” While chewing up the meat, you might find some pieces that are not cooked to you’re liking.  Although they are not cooked to your liking, it may be beneficial to go ahead and consume them.  Again, “Eat The Meat and Spit Out The Bones!”

If you don’t want to be criticized, I have some advice for you: Say Nothing, Do Nothing & Be Nothing!

It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” ~Theodore Roosevelt

I don’t ever want to find my place with those “Cold and Timid Souls.”

Criticism: “It Is What It Is!”

What do you think?  Share your thoughts!

  • Khristinadlores

    In a business where “constructive” criticism is handed out like cotton candy at an amusem park, this article will be something I can share with my colleagues as they are getting their teeth kicked in by our managers. I hope they will find it as beneficial as I did.

    • ScottWilliams

      Glad it helped you… hope it benefits your peers as well

  • http://About.me/marcmillan Marc Millan

    Growing in from New York, I learned to master and grow thick skin when it came to criticizm.
    After getting saved, that didn’t change much but I have to admit, the closer I’ve gotten to the Spirit
    of God, my sensativity to peoples thoughts have changed. I actually enjoy getting feedback, sometimes there is honest opinion disguised in ctiticism, it takes a secure, mature person to be able to process that. I liken you analogy of “eat the meat, spit out the bones” the same way, a baby can’t eat meat….takes a few years before they can do that. :)
    M_

    • ScottWilliams

      well said… the same way, a baby can’t eat meat….takes a few years before they can do that. :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=57510017 Dwight L. MacPherson

    As a published author with a 14-year career in the Army prior to that, I’ve seen more than my fair share of criticism. One of the greatest lessons I learned in the Army was that you can’t be “thin-skinned” and expect to lead successfully. Leaders in the public arena would do well to learn this lesson early. We always have and always will draw fire. Ask Moses. Or David. Or Jesus. Or Dr. King. It comes with the territory. What we CAN do is choose not to overreact; we don’t have to be thin-skinned. 

    Also, as Pastor Warren Weirsbe said: “The way we respond to criticism pretty much depends on the way we respond to praise. If praise humbles us, then criticism will build us up. But if praise inflates us, then criticism will crush us; and both responses lead to our defeat.”  

    So, with thicker skin and more humility, I believe we can effectively overcome criticism and move forward in victory. We are “super-conquerors” (Romans 8:38) and we cannot allow the hurtful words of other triumph over us. Period.   

    • ScottWilliams

      thick skin + humility

  • http://twitter.com/Minister_Mama Grace Biskie

    I totally agree with everything your saying, it’s just….. hard.  I feel like I’m a sensitive soul living in a big mean world. LOL. I’m trying to just roll with the punches of criticism, but I feel like I can be too easily taken out by it….and that’s not good.  It seems the other aspect of this convo is that now it’s easier to criticize someone anonymously via the web…and that’s a whole other ball of wax. sigh.  Good points here though, good to remember.

    • ScottWilliams

      The anonymity factor help promote cowardism…  I pray you continue to roll with the punches.

  • http://www.reebokjerseyssell.com/wholesale-NFL-Football-Jerseys/New-York-Giants-Jerseys/ John jake

    This is all very new to me and this article really opened my eyes.Thanks for sharing with us your wisdom.

  • http://www.konacoffeesd.com/ Moira Carlin

    When I was growing up my mom would always tell me: “Son, you can’t
    control or worry about what people say… you can only control what you
    say and what you do

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