Black Friday – Don’t Buy “The Gift of No”

It’s Black Friday and the madness has already begun. As a matter of fact, Black Friday kicked off late Thursday for many retail spots. (Yes, Black Friday on Thursday) This year’s Black Friday shopping and purchasing of gifts reminded me of the importance of “The Gift Of No.”

Do you have the gift of no? I am not talking about the ability to say “No” when it’s absolutely necessary; I’m talking about this poorly wrapped re-gift that has you saying “No” for no other reason than your own convenience. You know what I’m talking about, when your kids ask you if they can do something and you just say “No!” Most of the time there is not a rational reason for you saying No, except for the fact that it is convenient and easy.

This is what it looks like in the world of many parents: “Dad can I get a Popsicle?” “No”  “Mom, can I stay the night with Johnny?” “No”  “Dad can I help with that?” “No, your not big enough” Dad will you come see this “No, in a minute” and the list goes on and on.

Research shows that 77% of everything we think is negative and counterproductive. Children that grow up in an “average household” hear “No” and are told what they can’t do more than 148,000 times by the time they are 18; and the result is unintentional negative programming.

This Black Friday and every day moving forward, Don’t Buy “The Gift of No” simply because it’s easy, convenient and on sale. When at all possible, give “The Gift of Yes.”

Do you find yourself buying “The Gift of No?” Share your thoughts.

  • Brian AtLee

    Yes, by default I revert to the gift of no. However, I have realized this for many years, and purposely try to say yes. As home school parents my wife and I purposely say yes to the kids for their curiosity, ingenuity, inventions, and so on. Enable your kids to learn by saying yes.

  • Austin Koehn

    Scott do you have some ideas for alternatives for “no” that you do? One that we were taught was “hey, buddy there is nothing else I would rather do than to …”. This especially is true when I just get home and the kids want to play and I want to discuss my day and have my wife discuss her day to me. Sometimes I have to say in 5 or 10 minutes but after “there’s nothing I’d rather do” but it feels like they don’t feel rejected compared to a straight “No”.

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