Parents this post is for your. Consider it a reminder, a wake-up call, a gift or an attention getter similar to what the Chick-fil-A cow would do to get you to “Eat Mor Chikin.”
No matter how old your kids are; you can take it to the bank that they still want these 3 things.
• 1. Spend More Time: Kids want time and they want quality time. We all understand that as they get older much of their time, conversations and interactions are with their friends, but that doesn’t take away from their deep desire to spend more time with you. Some people take quality time as turning off the technology devices and others are not so concerned about shutting things down as they are about turning the time up.
Hangout, chill, play some sports together, a video game, take a vacation, sit around in your pajamas, talk, laugh, live, watch football, try going to get some manicures and pedicures together. It doesn’t matter the what or the how, what matter sis that you do it. Spend More Time!
• 2. Give More Approval: Kids are always looking for their parents’ approval. As soon as they begin to utter words as a baba they start looking, searching, asking questions and seeking approval of mom and dad or mom or dad: “Is that good enough?” “Did I make you proud?” “Am I stacking up?” “Do you approve?”
As Parents we have the responsibility of always encouraging our kids. When they look over at you in the stands while you’re at the sporting event, give them a big thumbs up. When they are trying out some new style, give them an “I like that you’re being creative and point them to some fashion sites.” When they start dating, put some standards in place and encourage them with an “I trust your judgment.” It doesn’t matter how you give the approval – just give it.
For as long as I can remember, the one thing my mother did was always give her approval, not only her approval but also her encouragement. You can do it, you can do anything if you put your mind to it, I like that you are willing to try. As I’m turning 40 and my mother is turning 70, nothing has changed about her approval and encouragement for me. I was at her house last night before I left on a business trip to LA and she encouraged me and gave me her approval with these words, “Son, I’m so proud of you.” Give More Approval!
• 3. Give More Yes’: When I was a Prison Warden, I had an Office Administrator who lived and operated by a slogan “Starting from yes!” I was always impressed about how she truly operated her life from a “Starting From Yes” perspective. I have come to realize that is a great mindset and mantra for parents to live by.
Let me unpack this a little bit. Parents can have a seemingly natural bad habit of simply starting from no and more importantly they are often times oblivious to it. “Mom, can I go to the movies with Jill?” “NO” “Dad, do you think we can go outside and throw the football?” “NO, Not right now.” “Can I get this, do this, try this, see this, date them, build this, go here, go there???” “NO, NO, NO.”
It’s real easy to get into the habit of saying “NO” just because you can. Saying yes might be just the thing that builds the leader, inspires the entrepreneur, pulls out the strong nature, builds the creative spirit, builds the trust, provides the encouragements, helps to overcome the insecurity and builds a legacy of “Starting From Yes.” Next time you say “NO”, Stop, Pause and Ask Yourself Why? The more you give the “Yes”, the more the “NO’s” are understood and appreciated. Give More Yes’.