Big Is The New Small

There is good amount of research out there that claims that Facebook is the cause affairs and divorce. According to the online research, divorces have been on the rise since social media sites like Facebook have become increasingly popular, research claims.

These social connection sites are being utilized more and more by unhappy individuals to seek out and have an affair and cheat on their partner. Facebook is being cited in almost 1 out of 5 online divorce petitions lawyers have claimed.

My personal thoughts are that facebook and social sites don’t cause affairs and divorces.  It’s the people using the sites that create the positive or negative affects of the sites based upon their behavior.  I think making Facebook the problem takes the responsibility out of the hands of the real culprit, those allowing Facebook to lead to sin.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not naive to think that Facebook isn’t a tool for adulteress behavior.  As a matter of fact I’ve had many people in my office that have used this tool for inappropriate behavior, resulting in devastation to their marriage.

The bottom line is Facebook and other online social sites are neutral.  These sites don’t cause anything, they are simply a tool.  Just like a gun doesn’t cause murders, the inappropriate use of the gun causes murders.  If the gun is used properly it’s a tool that saves lives, puts food on the table and used for sporting.  The same is true for Facebook, as it has many more positives than negatives.

Facebook Does Not Cause Affairs and Divorce… People Do!

Below are 7 methods to help married couples create positive barriers into their online presence:

• Universal passwords for e-mail and social media account log-ins
• Joint online accounts with joint photos
• Encourage utilization and sharing of one another’s account
• No Ex Policy (Ex boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, acquaintances… can’t be on your friends list)
• Ask the question, “Would my spouse be okay with this message, email or post?”
• Openness and honesty (Know your struggles)
• Delete your account

There are many different ways to minimize the risk and not allow a hint of inappropriate behavior to step into your marriage.  Guard your hearts or they will end up like the image in this post. {bro ken}

Share your thoughts experiences on whether or not Facebook causes affairs and divorce. What methods have you used that have proven to be effective?

I remember having a conversation with a pastor friend of mine who happens to be a female.  She was sharing the various unique things that women in the church struggle with and things they have confided in her.  One of the things that she shared made me have one of those “hmm” moments.  She stated that women that she’s talked w/ in various churches struggle with the fact that They Think Their Pastor’s Sexy!  Not to be confused with the popular country music song “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy.” Not only do they think their Pastor’s Sexy, but they struggle with their mind and eyes wandering into inappropriate places.  It becomes a challenge because they will have these lustful thoughts as their pastor is speaking. The same can be true for men with a female pastors or lust in general.

Many pastors teach the concept out of the book Every Mans Battle called “Bouncing Your Eyes” in other words don’t keep your eyes focused on someone of the opposite sex for too long.   Keeping your eyes moving can keep you out of trouble.  This is something that is stereotypically geared towards guys… but what about the ladies?  There is a book called Every Womans Battle, although I have not heard anything about the content.

After my conversation with my female pastor friend; it’s probably fair for me to make the assumption that there are women sitting in pews and seats of churches all around the country that may be struggling with the inability to “Bounce Their Eyes.”  As their eyes are having to fixated on their “Sexy Pastor,” who happens to be in front of them for relatively lengthy periods of time each and every week.  The fact that their pastor is a man of God, tells great stories and seems to be rather put together only increases the the sexiness factor.

The thoughts running through their head might be something like this: He’s Hot, I like that suit, Are those True Religion Jeans, He’s so spiritual, I wish my husband treated me like that, He’s so Handsome, Nice Hair, He dresses so fly, I can tell he’s been working out, He’s so considerate, I know he’s married but, I would, I wonder if I can share that with him, I bet he… After thinking these thoughts, their mind wanders for a moment or two or three or four and unfortunately, this cycle can repeat itself on a weekly basis.  The Bible says this… ”But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28  Ladies this passage applies to you as well, so please Stop Lusting After Your Pastor!

God created us with a unique ability to train and control our eyes, actions and mind.  Exercise your ability and gain control.

Do women get a pass? Is this a problem? How does play into the overall adultery scheme of things? Share your thoughts.

I have been amazed at how God continues to bless little ol’ me.  I mean seriously, every time I turn around there is a blessing in front of me, as well as an opportunity to be a blessing. I’m listening to God’s Whispers, being sensitive to The Spirit and walking through doors that He cracks open.

Good or Bad… It’s All Good!

It has been heavy on my heart the amount of appreciation that I have for all of the blessings that God continues to place in my life. It’s also been heavy on my heart that I don’t say Thank You Jesus enough.  Good or Bad, it doesn’t matter what we go through; what matters is how we go through it. I will choose to go through the various doors of life with a heart of thanksgiving.

It’s not merely about the outward expression, it’s more about the inner appreciation that rests deep inside my heart. God, I will praise You more and more and more, “That my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever.” Psalm 30:12

Good Or Bad… It’s All Good! Thank You Jesus!

I Need To Say Thank You Jesus More Often…  Do You?

I Will Say Thank You Jesus More Often… Will You?

I Will Always Remember This – Good Or Bad… It’s All Good! Will You?

Those of you that follow my blog and Twitter stream know that I’m a huge proponent of twitter.  A Couple of days ago I shared a post entitled “70 Reasons People Follow You On Twitter” and it received alot of views and retweets…  how many is alot; well like my son used to say, “A whole big bunch.”  There were a couple of primary reasons that people follow you, #1 was being interesting and another at the top of the list was authenticity.  I thought I would take a stab at authenticity and give you the opportunity to be authentic as well, by adding to this Confessions Of A Twitterer Post. 

Here We Go:

• I think some Twitter profile pics are weird!
• The Porn people on Twitter really irritate me.
• I have an auto Welcome DM response on my account that reads: #FistBump to ya’ Thanks For Following My Random Tweets/Random Life. FYI-My random blog is http://bigisthenewsmall.com
• I’m encouraged when people send DM’s and @replies  saying my tweets positively impact their life.
• I have met people on Twitter and as a result we have met in real life.
• I think it’s ridiculous and laughable when someone that has 19k less followers than me sends me a DM telling me how to get more followers.  I don’t like silly DM’s.
• I have a search column on Tweetdeck for ScottWilliams.
• Most of my tweets are 120 characters or less to leave room to be re-tweeted.
• I view Twitter as part of my ministry.
• Many people ask me where I come up with my quotes… I wish I had a profound answer; however 9 times out of 10 I make em’ up in a few seconds.
• I set up Twitter accounts over a year ago for my wife @Lakendria  and my two sons ages 6 and 10.  My wife uses hers and the boys don’t… Yet!
• I’ve gotten caught stretching the truth on my exact location… “I’ll tell @LaKendria  I’m almost in the neighborhood and forget that I just tweeted: Just leaving the office.”
• I consider retweets to be one of the biggest forms of a Twitter compliment. 
• I don’t digg the fake This Is God & This Is Jesus Tweeps; however I do know that God is Omnipresent and that includes Twitter!
• I believe the Twitter community is as legitimate as any or maybe even the most legitimate social media community.
• I don’t follow many people that don’t follow me…  Sorry Celebrity Tweeps!
• I pray for people on Twitter.
• Several people have stated that me following them makes them nervous, because I’m a Pastor.
• I might be a Twitteraholic!
• I’m not a robot…  I’ve been asked that question; now you understand what I mean by silly DM!

I could go on and on; however I want you to share your confessions!  I’ll add some more to the comment section or I’m sure I’ll agree with some of yours!

With all of the discussion surrounding the death of retired Titans Quarterback Steve McNair; I thought it was important to make one thing clear… That Dirty Little Secret Will Ruin You!   Amidst his recent murder, people are raising questions about the married Quarterback’s off the field/personal life and adulterous dealings with his alleged 20 year old girlfriend.  The question is whether or not those off the field actions and Dirty Little Secrets should affect his or any other person in a similar situation’s philanthropy, good deeds, life-long career and good standing in the community.  

The answer is absolutely, positively Yes it should affect you, it will affect you and bottom line is: That Dirty Little Secret Will Ruin You!   If you don’t believe me look at the life of Christian Evangelist Ted Haggard and countless others… simply survey their lives before and after those Dirty Little Secrets Were Exposed.  You can read all of the latest news on the McNair Story here.

This is not about casting stones; as a matter of fact this applies to each and every one of us.  Those Dirty Little Secrets that stay in the dark will Ruin You if and when they come to light.  By God’s Grace, we can absolutely be forgiven for our actions and for our sins; however that doesn’t negate the fact that, That Dirty Little Secret Will Ruin You! 

Expose those Dirty Little Secrets and remember you can be forgiven and you can be restored; however you can still be ruined!  That Dirty Little Secret Will Ruin You!  Not only will it Ruin You… it will devastate, hurt, crush and at times even ruin those you closest to you.  Please continue to pray for Steve McNair’s wife, children, family and friends.

Can and should one Dirty Little Secret Ruin You?  Share Your Thoughts!

South Carolina Governor admits to an affair!  Let’s call it what it is, “It’s not an affair… It’s Adultery and It’s Sin!”  The Governor did make a few of good statements in his press conference: ”There are moral absolutes, God’s law is there to protect you from yourself and there are consequences if you breech those laws.”

I just blogged about this a week ago in a post entitled: “Pastors, Players, Pimps… Stop Cheating!”

Gentlemen, Men, Fathers, Leaders… This Adultery Madness Has Got To Stop!  That’s all I have to say!

If you have something to say, feel free to share your thoughts!

KEEPIN’ IT REAL

I want to close out with a very simple confession… I don’t share all of my business with everybody.  I am all about transparency, openness, accountability, keepin’ it real etc.; however I don’t think always it’s beneficial to tell everyone everything.  My old Bishop back in the day gave me that little nugget of wisdom.

The bottom line is that if you have something that needs to be shared, told or confessed; by all means tell somebody (the right person, the right people), just not always everybody!  I have plenty more confessions to share and I have shared them with somebody or some people… just not you!  God Is Love… Rev. Scott

Don’t be transparent for transparency’s sake… keep it real & make it beneficial!  Thoughts!

THE ANNOINTING OIL 

I remember this scenario as though it was yesterday; I had just began my journey into full-time vocational ministry at LifeChurch.tv.  I was the Associate Campus Pastor at the Edmond Campus and had been there for about 30 days.  I was Gung-Ho and ready to attack hell with a water pistol, if your know what I mean.  I remember a lady coming up after one of the experiences and needed prayer, so one of the other Associate Campus Pastors grabbed me, so that we could pray for her.

We proceeded to the staff offices to begin praying for healing for the right side of her body and for her Dr.’s appointment the following day.  I remember the other Associate Campus Pastor who will remain nameless; looked at me and then looked at a bottle of oil on the Campus Pastor’s desk.  I looked at him, with a look like “why ya lookin’ at me…” he proceeded to say go ahead Pastor Scott get the oil.  (Let’s Pause Right Here, I didn’t get a handbook with my calling to ministry… just a step of obedience and trusting God to use me in some way, and this was the first lesson in not knowing what I’m doing… Un-pause.)

This whole process of being the anointer with oil was new for me and I was going to have to just trust God to walk me through the process.  I grabbed the oil, opened the lid, shook a little on my finger… think think, I made a cross on her forehead (it seemed like the spiritual thing to do), anointed her in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit and then we prayed for her.

I wasn’t quite sure if I did the right thing so I “Googled It” and Yes, I was right on the money. {smile}   Everything except for giving her a klennex, that was just a bonus and a courtesy. {smile}  I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength and discernment!  BTW- I have not seen any anointing oil at LifeChurch.tv since then!

Ever found yourself in one of those situations where you didn’t know what to do or say?  Thoughts?

DEEP SLEEP

I thought I would dedicate this week to getting real open and honest with the BigIsTheNewSmall.com readers by sharing some Confessions of a Pastor… and that Pastor would be me.  Some of what I share this week may make you laugh, make you cry… or may get me fired.  Here goes the first confession:

One Sunday afternoon several years ago my son Wesley (who was around seven years old at the time) and I were on our way home, prior to me having to return to the Sunday Evening Church Experience.  I needed to run in the grocery store real quick to pick up some cough medicine and cough drops.  I parked up close and decided to leave my son in the car while I ran inside the store real quick.  Being the awesome parent that I am; I told my son to lock the doors, because I was going to leave the keys in the car while I ran inside the store real quick.  My son said “cool” because he was watching a movie.

Five minutes (or less )  later I return to the car and my son is knocked out sleep (I mean not responding to banging on the window, yelling, rocking the SUV Deep Sleep) with the movie headphones on, car running and doors locked. 

Not a fun call to my lovely wife who is a Child Welfare Social Worker. 

BTW- I did’nt receive the “Parent of The Year Award” that year!

Thoughts on my confession? Any confessions you want to share?