I remember having a conversation with a pastor friend of mine who happens to be a female. She was sharing the various unique things that women in the church struggle with and things they have confided in her. One of the things that she shared made me have one of those “hmm” moments. She stated that women that she’s talked w/ in various churches struggle with the fact that They Think Their Pastor’s Sexy! Not to be confused with the popular country music song “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy.” Not only do they think their Pastor’s Sexy, but they struggle with their mind and eyes wandering into inappropriate places. It becomes a challenge because they will have these lustful thoughts as their pastor is speaking. The same can be true for men with a female pastors or lust in general.
Many pastors teach the concept out of the book Every Mans Battle called “Bouncing Your Eyes.” In other words, don’t keep your eyes focused on someone of the opposite sex for too long. Keeping your eyes moving can keep you out of trouble. This is something that is stereotypically geared towards guys… but what about the ladies? There is a book called Every Womans Battle, although I have not heard anything about the content.
After my conversation with my female pastor friend, it’s probably fair for me to make the assumption that there are women sitting in pews and seats of churches all around the country that may be struggling with the inability to “Bounce Their Eyes;” especially as their eyes are having to be fixated on their “Sexy Pastor,” who happens to be in front of them for relatively lengthy periods of time each and every week. The fact that their pastor is a man of God, tells great stories and seems to be rather put together only increases the the sexiness factor.
The thoughts running through their head might be something like this: He’s Hot, I like that suit, Are those True Religion Jeans, He’s so spiritual, I wish my husband treated me like that, He’s so Handsome, Nice Hair, He dresses so fly, I can tell he’s been working out, He’s so considerate, I know he’s married but, I would, I wonder if I can share that with him, I bet he… After thinking these thoughts, their mind wanders for a moment or two or three or four and unfortunately, this cycle can repeat itself on a weekly basis. The Bible says this: ”But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28 Ladies this passage applies to you as well, so please Stop Lusting After Your Pastor!
God created us with a unique ability to train and control our eyes, actions and mind. Exercise your ability and gain control.
Do women get a pass? Is this a problem? How does play into the overall adultery scheme of things? Share your thoughts.
As many of you know I have a 5th grade son who is matriculating to middle school. We have already talked about the “Birds & The Bees” this year and agreed to keep an open dialogue and have progressive discussions. Our agreement is that he can ask me anything and I will give him a straight answer. We also agreed that these discussions are between he and I… we decided to leave mom out of the mix.
This week he came home with a little book that his parents were supposed to go through with him. The book is called “Always Changing & Growing: Boys Guide.” Because of our agreement he told his mom that he couldn’t talk to her about the book and he has to talk to his dad. The first item on the discussion agenda was, “How and when is sperm developed?”
I thought I would simply share the glossary of terms that are in the book: Note- The (sarcasm) below is just for chuckles for the BigIsTheNewSmall readers, my son and I talk very candid about this stuff.
- Apocrine glands– Sweat glands under arms and genitals. (Deodorant & soap are important to a 6th grader).
- Circumcision– Medical or religious procedure by in which the Dr. or Clergy cuts away the foreskin from the penis. (I’m considered Clergy & I’m not cutting any foreskin).
- Eccrine glands- Sweat glands all over body (Again soap is important).
- Ejaculation– Forceful release of semen from the penis. (I’m gonna try to convince him they are talking about concrete or sement).
- Erection- Hardening of the penis (Again, this will have something to do with concrete or sement setting up and getting hard).
- Foreskin- The fold of skin that covers the end of the penis. (Uhh, I got nothing for this one).
- Penis– Male reproductive organ. (This is an instrument you play, kinda like a piano.).
- Semen- A sticky fluid that contains sperm and various other secretions. (Again this is the consistency of concrete and sement before it hardens).
- Sperm– The male reproductive cell. (It’s like a little swimming fish that has races with other swimming fish, you were once one of these swimming fish and you were fast enough to win the race).
- Testicles- The male reproductive glands. (Balls is the most simple answer).
- Wet dream- The ejaculation of semen out of the penis during sleep. (A wet dream is when you pee on yourself).
These are not all of the terms discussed in the book and found in the glossary; however this is the majority of them. Although I tried to make light of the situation/terminology, I understand and embrace the seriousness of these types of discussion. My son and I have an amazing relationship and our initial conversation about the Birds and The Bees about 6 months ago was exceptional. I used my 7 Methods To Talk To My Son About Sex.
What are your thoughts about these terms and the whole process of talking to your kids about sex and development. When is it too early? Share your thoughts!
My wife and I had the opportunity to teach a Prep For Marriage class this weekend. We get the opportunity to do this about once a quarter and it’s always a great time to help couples begin the conversation, understand the importance of communication and most importantly learning to put God first in their relationship.
One of the exercises that we always do, is separate the couples by gender and engage in them in a conversation. Their assignment is simple for the ladies: Come up with a Top 10 List of the Top 10 Things All Men Need To Know About Women and then for the men: Come up up with a Top 10 list of the Top 10 Things All Women Need To Know About Men. Today I’m going to share the Top 10 List The Guys Came up with. I will share the Ladies’ List tomorrow.
Top 10 Things All Women Need To Know About Men:
- We enjoy sports and need time to watch our sports.
- We are not mind readers, say what’s really on your mind.
- We need our time alone: guys night out, man cave…
- We need and desire sex.
- We want to be the leader and the protector… let us lead.
- When we say nothing is wrong, “Nothing is wrong” nothing means nothing!
- We don’t like shopping/looking with you… we like in-and-out shopping.
- We want to be respected and appreciated.
- We don’t remember many dates, maybe even special dates.
- We don’t like chick flix.
Share your thoughts on this list and add any additional things Women Need To Know About Men.
One of the many cool thing about working with my team is the spirited debates that we have on a regular basis. The subject matter of these debates covers a wide range of topics including: theology, politics, leadership, ministry philosophy, parenting… to things like: “Should Men Open Car Doors For Women?” Today’s debate was dealing with exactly that question: “Should Men Open Car Doors For Women?”
Today’s discussion had input not only from our campus team, but the other teams who share a building with us joined in on the fun. There were some common themes in the responses from the guys, when asked the following question: “Do You Open The Door For Your Wife/Girlfriend?” The responses included:
- Sometimes or It depends
- I used to when we were dating but not since we’ve been married
- I have a key-less entry and my wife prefers me to just open the door
- It’s not practical to open the door
- That’s Old Fashioned
When asking the question: “Should Men Open The Car Door For Women?” The responses included:
- Absolutely… that’s what a gentlemen does
- Yes they should, especially if they are dating
- Of course, that’s how you teach your son’s how they should behave
- It depends on if the woman would like for him to or not
- Women need to be trained to wait on the man to open the door
- Why does the man have to be the one to open the door
What are your thoughts to either one of the above questions: Do you open the car door for your wife/girlfriend? Does your husband/boyfriend open the car door for you? Should Men Open The Car Door For Women?
I was recently reading through an old T.D. Jakes book from off the book shelf and ran across a couple of bullet points for us to ponder.
- When a child leads the way in commitment to a church, 3 1/2 percent of families follow.
- When a woman/mom leads the way in commitment to a church, 17 percent of families follow.
- When a man/dad leads the way in commitment to a church, 93 percent of families follow.
Hmmmm, I know that last bullet point is how our family ended up at LifeChurch.tv and the rest is HIStory!
Looking For a Few Go
od Men! BigIsTheNewSmall