Big Is The New Small

I remember having a conversation with a pastor friend of mine who happens to be a female.  She was sharing the various unique things that women in the church struggle with and things they have confided in her.  One of the things that she shared made me have one of those “hmm” moments.  She stated that women that she’s talked w/ in various churches struggle with the fact that They Think Their Pastor’s Sexy!  Not to be confused with the popular country music song “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy.” Not only do they think their Pastor’s Sexy, but they struggle with their mind and eyes wandering into inappropriate places.  It becomes a challenge because they will have these lustful thoughts as their pastor is speaking. The same can be true for men with a female pastors or lust in general.

Many pastors teach the concept out of the book Every Mans Battle called “Bouncing Your Eyes.” In other words, don’t keep your eyes focused on someone of the opposite sex for too long.   Keeping your eyes moving can keep you out of trouble.  This is something that is stereotypically geared towards guys… but what about the ladies?  There is a book called Every Womans Battle, although I have not heard anything about the content.

After my conversation with my female pastor friend, it’s probably fair for me to make the assumption that there are women sitting in pews and seats of churches all around the country that may be struggling with the inability to “Bounce Their Eyes;”  especially as their eyes are having to be fixated on their “Sexy Pastor,” who happens to be in front of them for relatively lengthy periods of time each and every week.  The fact that their pastor is a man of God, tells great stories and seems to be rather put together only increases the the sexiness factor.

The thoughts running through their head might be something like this: He’s Hot, I like that suit, Are those True Religion Jeans, He’s so spiritual, I wish my husband treated me like that, He’s so Handsome, Nice Hair, He dresses so fly, I can tell he’s been working out, He’s so considerate, I know he’s married but, I would, I wonder if I can share that with him, I bet he… After thinking these thoughts, their mind wanders for a moment or two or three or four and unfortunately, this cycle can repeat itself on a weekly basis.  The Bible says this: ”But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28  Ladies this passage applies to you as well, so please Stop Lusting After Your Pastor!

God created us with a unique ability to train and control our eyes, actions and mind.  Exercise your ability and gain control.

Do women get a pass? Is this a problem? How does play into the overall adultery scheme of things? Share your thoughts.

Life is about Moments & Memories.  The things you do in today’s moments will be tomorrow’s memories.  It’s important that we embrace every single moment, understanding it’s true potential for lasting memories.  If you talk to anyone that has lost someone they loved, they will always talk about the Moments & Memories that they had with that person.  The same thing is true for the parents that look back and remember when their children were toddlers and next thing you know they are graduating from high school.

All of our moments are precious gifts from God.  Take some time today to look at your moments at work, with your kids, your friends and your spouse differently.  Realize that those special moments are special gifts that will produce special memories.  Think about your child’s 1st step, piano recital, gymnastics meet, when they made a decision to follow Christ, football games, basketball games, open house at school, trick or treating, college graduation, their wedding day and the list goes on and on.

No matter what you do, do it from the perspective of asking these two questions:  Are the things that I’m doing in today’s moments creating the right memories for tomorrow?  Am I finding the God moments even in the little things?

Below are a couple of videos from this past Saturday of my 8yo son Jayden running the ball, one is a little swing pass and the other is a trap.  I love coaching this group of boys and they have come a long way this season, as a matter of fact this past Saturday was the semi-finals and our 26-25 victory put us in the Championship Game this weekend.  Such great Moments & Memories.

After we win the Championship Game this coming weekend (prophetically speaking), I get the opportunity to drive 2.5 hours to officiate a wedding of a great couple with a really bright future.

“If you long for the perfect moment, the perfect moment will pass you by.”

Great Moments & Great Memories.

Share your thoughts on Moments & Memories.  You can also share your thoughts on my son’s two plays in the above videos.

I am making an announcement about the new Season for The Williams’ Family.  Before I announce what that season is and where we are going, let me rewind almost 8 months ago.  I actually made the “Big Announcement #2″ that I was going to be transitioning out of my role at LifeChurch.tv into a new season of ministry for my family.

Fast forward 8 months and I have started a consulting company Nxt Level Solutions LLC.  The short and skinny of what we do is help organizations with both external and internal growth. We do this by helping with Leadership Development, Strategy, Diversity Consulting and New Media. In a short amount of time, God has blessed us with an amazing group of organizations and individuals to work with.  We are growing and at the same time helping others go farther faster. On top of this, more entrepreneurial adventures are around the corner and I’ve been blessed to continue sharing the message of Church Diversity around the country.

As far as the new season for the Williams’ family, we are going to be (give me another paragraph).   I have received many texts, DM’s & calls about what the new season is; let me explain a little further. When we made the decision to start a new season for our family 8 months ago, one of the goals was for us to continue to grow as a family.  As we prayed about what that would look like, LaKendria and I set one of our primary goals as her being able to stay home.  Years ago we thought this would have been important when our boys were young; however we are finding that it’s important really important at their current stage.

So the New Season For The Williams’ Family is not about us going to a new place physically, but rather LaKendria is going to be staying home.  Yep straight up Betty Crocker, Soccer Mom, Family Coordinator, Supporter, Teammate, Mother, Partner, Wife & making us a better family SAHM.  She put her notice in this week and her last day will be sometime in November.

This wasn’t simply a goal for us, but a step of faith and an act of listening to God’s Whispers. God is oh so many steps ahead of us, we are happy to follow his lead.  Ecclesiastes 3:1 NCV say’s it this way, “There is a time for everything, and everything on earth has its special season.”  I’m really looking forward to this special season.

What new seasons does God have for you and your family?   He’s whispering, are you listening?

I was one of the speakers for Leadership Network’s TheNines Conference again this year.  This year’s task was quite simple – shoot a 5 minute video answering one the 9 questions.  This is the video that we shot answering the question: How Do You Manage Your Time?

My man @SamsonVarughese brought the video to life for me with a little extra effects.

How do you manage your time?

I met this beautiful college freshman in 1996, we married some 5 years later and today is our anniversary.  God has blessed us more than we could ask, think or imagine.

Today is a BIG Day. Actually as you read this I’m on a cruise and we are probably somewhere in the Bahamas.  I’m enjoying time with the love of my life Lakendria and these two young men that we are both pretty fond of.

A couple of years ago, our sons Wesley & Jayden surprised us with what they called Anniversary Cafe, featured in the above video.  I have shown this video on our annversary for the last couple years, so I decided to make it a BigIsTheNewSmall.com August 4th tradition.  I’m sure they will not appreciate me showing this once they are in college…  nonetheless, if I’m still blogging in 10 years, I’ll be showing the video.

“The art of love… is largely the art pf persistence.” ~Albert Ellis

What are some special surprises that you have done for your friends/loved ones, or how have your friends/loved ones surprised you?

Over the years I have found that Helping Others Win is a very important duty.  As leaders, our primary goal is to help those around us win.  As followers, our primary goal is to help those that we follow win.  If those around us are winning, the organization wins and that’s a win win.

As parents it’s important to help our children win. We provide environments, teaching, structure, systems, beliefs and assistance that help create opportunities for success.  As married couples, we must be wholly committed to helping one another win.

Helping Others Win is such a simple concept, but it’s often overlooked in this self-consuming day and age.  It’s much easier for a boss to fire someone, a coach to give up on someone and a spouse to hit the road than it is to commit to winning.

Charlie Sheen may be a little off of his rocker, but the one thing he gets is Winning. He was quoted as saying, “I’m not bi-polar, I’m bi-winning.”

We need to become more focused on being bi-winning…  In other-words, creating situations where everyone wins.  Help Someone Win Today!

Why are people not committed to Helping Others Win?  Share your thoughts on helping others win.

I went back and forth on the title of this post, I was deciding between “Get Your Priorities Straight” and “Your Family Is More Important Than Your Desire To Take Care Of Your Family.”  Either way, I’m thinking, feeling and writing the same thing.

It seems like I have been a part of at least 4-5 conversations in the last couple of months with individuals who are struggling with getting their priorities straight and somewhat of a “Where do I go from here?” dilemma.  Each and every time the conversations centers around what they are doing professionally, what God has called them to do, the amount of time they are spending with their family, putting people and success over family, putting their job over their marriage and putting their drive for success over their kids etc.

There is always tension in the area of “Getting Our Priorities Straight.”  This past weekend while my wife and I were at our son’s track meet in Texas, I received a short e-mail from someone that I don’t know, that made me think about priorities.  I’m sure the e-mail is a result of me sharing my kids/family business via social media.  The e-mail simply read, “Scott, your care for your children is the bomb! I don’t often see folks so willing to tote their children so many places when they’re involved in in so many extra curricular activities.  You’re a great example.”

The crazy thing is I receive random Twitter, Facebook & email notes from people all of the time with some mention of mine or Lakendria’s interaction with our sons.  It can be the simplest things, even our weekly barbershop and Sonic run that people make mention of.  Those notes always remind me of the simple fact that we have to get our priorities straight.  I’m not saying our priorities involve weekly Sonic runs or being involved in lots of extra curricular activities.  I am saying that our priorities are this simple:

• 1. God – Love God, Seek God, Worship God, Study God’s Word, Give,  Spend Time, Pray, Serve, Seek, Listen, Love, Read, Striving for our God Potential…
• 2. Family – Invest in your family, invest in your marriage, invest in your kids, put family above everything else besides God.  Your family is more important than your image, work, status etc.  Your family is more important than your desire to take care of your family.  Don’t put the latter before the former.
• 3. Everything Else – Work, Works, Will, Wants…  Don’t ever let whatever falls in this category to trump God & Family.  Yes you have to work to take care of your family, but there must be a balance, we must get our priorities straight.  In case you are wondering if your priorities are straight, simply ask your wife, ask your children and ask those who love you dearly.  Make adjustments as necessary.

Everyone has different priorities, it’s important to sit down as a family and figure out what those priorities are.  Some people may think our priorities are jacked up, because we spend so much time toting our kids around as the e-mail read.  I thank God for the freedom to choose and the freedom to prioritize.  My current reality consists of quite a bit of traveling; however those events always run through my priority grid.  My 8yo’s piano recital, family vacation, track meets, date nights etc. are more important to me than speaking to thousands of people at a conference.

Sometimes scheduling conflicts will occur; however when I have the ability to choose…  I will choose to get my priorities straight.

Share Your Thoughts on Getting Our Priorities Straight?

This is the sickest (translation – BEST) Baby Announcement Ever…  My man Jonathan Meisner & Michelle Meisner just took baby announcements to a whole nutha level.  This is a talented couple and Jonathan is a awesome videographer/video producer.

Follow them @jmeisner14 and @michmeisner.

Share this with your friends and share your thoughts below.

It doesn’t matter if you are an athlete or not, you must learn to “Leave It On The Field.”  We only get one opportunity to do this thing called life on earth one time, we must learn to make it count.  Not only do we need to make it count, but we must learn to Leave It On The Field.

You must learn to commit wholly and give the game of life your best effort.  Give your best to the things that matter, keeping nothing on the sidelines.  Leave It On The Field, especially  in the aspects of your life that truly matter:

• Time with your family
• Meaningful time with kids
• Your craft, hobbies and work
• Your ministry
• Your dreams
• Your faith
• Your marriage
• Your calling
• Everything that matters
• …

“I firmly believe that any man’s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle – victorious.” ~Vince Lombardi

Are you leaving it on the field or keeping it on the sidelines?

One of the many cool thing about working with my team is the spirited debates that we have on a regular basis.  The subject matter of these debates covers a wide range of topics including: theology, politics, leadership, ministry philosophy, parenting… to things like:”Should Men Open Car Doors For Women?“  Today’s debate was dealing with exactly that question: ”Should Men Open Car Doors For Women?”

Today’s discussion had input not only from our campus team, but the other teams who share a building with us joined in on the fun.  There were some common themes in the responses from the guys, when asked the following question: ”Do You Open The Door For Your Wife/Girlfriend?“  The responses included:

• Sometimes or It depends
• I used to when we were dating but not since we’ve been married
• I have a key-less entry and my wife prefers me to just open the door
• It’s not practical to open the door
• That’s Old Fashioned

When asking the question: ”Should Men Open The Car Door For Women?“ The responses included:

• Absolutely… that’s what a gentlemen does
• Yes they should, especially if they are dating
• Of course, that’s how you teach your son’s how they should behave
• It depends on if the woman would like for him to or not
• Women need to be trained to wait on the man to open the door
• Why does the man have to be the one to open the door

What are your thoughts to either one of the above questions: Do you open the car door for your wife/girlfriend?  Does your husband/boyfriend open the car door for you?  Should Men Open The Car Door For Women?