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What Used To Work… Is No Longer Working!

new approach

For those of you that know me, you know that I travel a lot, like a whole lot. With traveling comes a lot of learning and people watching. One thing that I have noticed is that every time I’m in an airport there is a little booth where people are trying to get you to sign up for some credit card associated with frequent flyer miles of some sort. We’ve all seen them, as people walk by they start yelling, “Hey sir or ma’am get your card, earn some miles, get a free flight…”

The problem with their “talking & yelling” approach is that no one is listening, people continue to walk by and avoid the booth says would you like to sign up for the flu or something worse. Dave Ramsey is probably delighted to see everyone walk swiftly past the airline credit card people.

I personally think they need to STOP Talking… Nobody Is Listening. They need to try a new approach. What used to work, is no longer working.

That’s the story of life, leadership, relationships, parenting, marketing, ministry and a new year.  Sometimes we need to STOP Talking, Nobody is listening. Try a new approach: “What Used To Work… Is No Longer Working!”

Cheers To An Awesome New Year.

You Thought That You Were Succeeding But You Actually Failed Big Time

fail4Things are looking good, your career is on the rise, you have a young family, nice house, nice cars and success might as well be tattooed across your forehead. The status of your social media profiles simply read “succeeding.” You are in the who’s who, 40 under 40 and your latest promotion has you slated to be the next bigger thing.

While you are busy succeeding, your children are busy growing and you don’t even realize it. While you are busy succeeding, you are not spending quality time with your spouse.

Time is fading and your success is clouding your ability to see what’s happening. Not only are you looking past what’s happening, the intoxicating nature of your perceived success is allowing you to justify your absence and lack of focus on the things that really do matter.

Time is passing and success is continuing to knock on your door.

Due to unexpected events and circumstances, you’re forced to pause long enough to reflect upon what you had been perceiving as success.

Suddenly, you realize.

You Thought That You Were Succeeding But You Actually Failed Big Time.

The #1 Reason The Marriages Of Church Leaders Are Failing

It’s sad to hear about marriages failing, it’s sadder to hear about Christian marriages failing and it’s the saddest to hear about the marriages of Ministry LEaders failing. Real Talk!

3 Things Every Kid Wants In 2014

3I thoughts the title 3 Things Every Kid Wants In 2014 was an time appropriate and clickable title; however the title of this post is simply “3 Things Every Kid Wants” period, the end.

Parents this post is for your. Consider it a reminder, a wake-up call, a gift or an attention getter similar to what the Chick-fil-A cow would do to get you to “Eat Mor Chikin.”

No matter how old your kids are; you can take it to the bank that they still want these 3 things.

• 1. Spend More Time: Kids want time and they want quality time. We all understand that as they get older  much of their time, conversations and interactions are with their friends, but that doesn’t take away from their deep desire to spend more time with you. Some people take quality time as turning off the technology devices and others are not so concerned about shutting things down as they are about turning the time up.

Hangout, chill, play some sports together, a video game, take a vacation, sit around in your pajamas, talk, laugh, live, watch football, try going to get some manicures and pedicures together. It doesn’t matter the what or the how, what matter sis that you do it. Spend More Time!

• 2. Give More Approval: Kids are always looking for their parents’ approval. As soon as they begin to utter words as a baba they start looking, searching, asking questions and seeking approval of mom and dad or mom or dad: “Is that good enough?” “Did I make you proud?” “Am I stacking up?” “Do you approve?”

As Parents we have the responsibility of always encouraging our kids. When they look over at you in the stands while you’re at the sporting event, give them a big thumbs up. When they are trying out some new style, give them an “I like that you’re being creative and point them to some fashion sites.” When they start dating, put some standards in place and encourage them with an “I trust your judgment.” It doesn’t matter how you give the approval – just give it.

For as long as I can remember, the one thing my mother did was always give her approval, not only her approval but also her encouragement. You can do it, you can do anything if you put your mind to it, I like that you are willing to try. As I’m turning 40 and my mother is turning 70, nothing has changed about her approval and encouragement for me. I was at her house last night before I left on a business trip to LA and she encouraged me and gave me her approval with these words, “Son, I’m so proud of you.” Give More Approval!

• 3. Give More Yes’: When I was a Prison Warden, I had an Office Administrator who lived and operated by a slogan “Starting from yes!” I was always impressed about how she truly operated her life from a “Starting From Yes” perspective. I have come to realize that is a great mindset and mantra for parents to live by.

Let me unpack this a little bit. Parents can have a seemingly natural bad habit of simply starting from no and more importantly they are often times oblivious to it. “Mom, can I go to the movies with Jill?” “NO” “Dad, do you think we can go outside and throw the football?” “NO, Not right now.” “Can I get this, do this, try this, see this, date them, build this, go here, go there???” “NO, NO, NO.”

It’s real easy to get into the habit of saying “NO” just because you can. Saying yes might be just the thing that builds the leader, inspires the entrepreneur, pulls out the strong nature, builds the creative spirit, builds the trust, provides the encouragements, helps to overcome the insecurity and builds a legacy of “Starting From Yes.” Next time you say “NO”, Stop, Pause and Ask Yourself Why? The more you give the “Yes”, the more the “NO’s” are understood and appreciated. Give More Yes’.

The Surprise Wedding

Check out this surprise wedding from my man @RyanLeak it is absolutely awesome… I don’t think I’ve ever watched a 30 min. YouTube video from start to finish besides Kony, that was until this video. It’s crazy to see this come together as I remember having conversations with Ryan as he was planning an entire wedding, all by his lonesome. (Crazy and Awesome at the same time)

Check this video out, let it inspire you, encourage you and just make you smile as you watch a true love story unfold on the screen

Succeeding While Doing The Wrong Thing

right thing

Sometimes people confuse success with doing the right thing. They justify doing the wrong thing by saying, “I must be doing something right, its working” or “God must be in it, it’s growing.” As ESPN Analyst Lee Corso says, “Not so fast my friend!” You can totally think you are doing the right thing and appear to be having success, but actually you are doing the wrong thing and setting yourself up for a bigger fall.

If you don’t know whether what you are doing is “Right or Wrong,” seek God and ask the people around you. Not the “yes” men and women around you, but the people that will tell you the truth, those that will call out right and wrong, those that will tell you that you are being prideful and those that will tell you that your thinking needs to be re-calibrated. Ponder This: Do your closed doors look different than your open windows?

The unfortunate thing about success or the appearance of success is it overshadows weaknesses and encourages justification of the negative influences of your life, career, organization, ministry, marriage, parenting etc.

Don’t be fooled by asking yourself the questions, “Am I succeeding? or Is it working?” Instead, look in the mirror and ask yourself this question when making decisions, “Am I doing the right thing?” Remember you might be Succeeding While Doing The Wrong Thing!

Succeeding While Doing The Wrong Thing is another word for FAILING.

It’s always the right time to do the right thing.

10 Excuses People Make

excuse

People want to succeed, but find excuses as to why they can’t.

People want a better marriage, but find excuses as to why they don’t.

People want a better job, but find excuses as to why they can’t.

People want to get in shape, but find excuses as to why they won’t.

People want to change themselves, but find excuses as to why they can’t.

People want to change the world, but find excuses as to why they won’t.

People want to be great, but find excuses as to why mediocre is better.

People want to be better parents, but find excuses as to why the aren’t.

People want to kick bad habits, but find excuses as to why the can’t.

People want to be like so and so, but find excuses as to why they can’t.

People make way too many excuses.

If it’s important to you, you will find a way… if not you’ll find an excuse.

Stop Making Excuses!!!

The History of Father’s Day and 5 Father’s Day Scriptures

fathers dayThe Inspiration For Father’s Day Came From a Sermon

Anna Jarvis is recognized as the founder, campaigner and promoter of Mother’s Day in the US. Due to its success, some wanted to create similar holidays for other family members, and Father’s Day was the choice most likely to succeed.

There were a number of people in the US who independently thought of “Father’s Day”; however the credit for the modern holiday is often given to one young lady, who was the driving force behind its establishment. Father’s Day was founded in Spokane, Washington, at the YMCA in 1910 by Mrs. Sonora Smart Dodd. Its first celebration was in the Spokane YMCA on June 19, 1910. Sonora’s father, the Civil War veteran William Jackson Smart, was a single parent who raised his six children there. After hearing a sermon about Jarvis’ Mother’s Day in 1909, she told her pastor that fathers should have a similar holiday honoring them. Although she initially suggested June 5, her father’s birthday, the pastors did not have enough time to prepare their sermons, and the celebration was deferred to the third Sunday of June.

A bill to accord national recognition of the holiday was introduced in Congress in 1913. In 1916, President Woodrow Wilson went to Spokane to speak in a Father’s Day celebration and wanted to make it official, but Congress resisted, fearing that it would become commercialized. US President Calvin Coolidge recommended in 1924 that the day be observed by the nation, but stopped short of issuing a national proclamation. Two earlier attempts to formally recognize the holiday had been defeated by Congress. In 1957, Maine Senator Margaret Chase Smith wrote a proposal accusing Congress of ignoring fathers for 40 years while honoring mothers, thus “singling out just one of our two parents”. In 1966, President Lyndon B. Johnson issued the first presidential proclamation honoring fathers, designating the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day. Six years later, the day was made a permanent national holiday when President Nixon signed it into law in 1972.

5 Father’s Day Scriptures

A Father’s Direction

3 Hear therefore, O Israel, and be careful to do them, that it may go well with you, and that you may multiply greatly, as the Lord, the God of your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey. 4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. 10 “And when the Lord your God brings you into the land that he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give you—with great and good cities that you did not build, 11 and houses full of all good things that you did not fill, and cisterns that you did not dig, and vineyards and olive trees that you did not plant—and when you eat and are full, 12 then take care lest you forget the Lord, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. 13 It is the Lord your God you shall fear. Him you shall serve and by his name you shall swear. Deuteronomy 6:3-13 ESV

Pursuit Of Happiness

13-14 Don’t be afraid to correct your young ones; a spanking won’t kill them. A good spanking, in fact, might save them from something worse than death. 15-16 Dear child, if you become wise, I’ll be one happy parent. My heart will dance and sing to the tuneful truth you’ll speak. Proverbs 23:13-16 MSG

Children Should Obey and Fathers Should Not Provoke

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:1-4 ESV

Get In Touch With Reality

1-3 God’s Message to Joel son of Pethuel: Attention, elder statesmen! Listen closely, everyone, whoever and wherever you are! Have you ever heard of anything like this? Has anything like this ever happened before—ever? Make sure you tell your children, and your children tell their children, And their children their children. Don’t let this message die out. 4 What the chewing locust left, the gobbling locust ate; What the gobbling locust left, the munching locust ate; What the munching locust left, the chomping locust ate. Joel 1:1-4 MSG

Rules For Christian Homes

18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.19Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Colossians 3:18-21

“Girl On Fire” – A Tribute To Mothers

Check out this tribute to mothers video that my church put together.

It will make you chuckle… enjoy!

20 Things You Need To Stop Doing… Right Now!

stopBelow is a list of 20 Things You Need To STOP Doing… Right Now!

  • 1. Stop placing your job above your family.
  • 2. Stop doubting yourself.
  • 3. Stop believing the lies.
  • 4. Stop settling for second best.
  • 5. Stop procrastinating.
  • 6. Stop making excuses.
  • 7. Stop standing paralyzed in awe of the success of others.
  • 8. Stop tippy-toeing on that line of sin.
  • 9. Stop being consumed with what other people think.
  • 10. Stop waiting until tomorrow to do the things you can do today.
  • 11. Stop limiting your dreams. Dream BIG!
  • 12. Stop treating people how you don’t want to be treated.
  • 13. Stop worrying about what people think.
  • 14. Stop being quiet when you know your supposed to speak up.
  • 15. Stop trying to fit in, you were made to stand out.
  • 16. Stop focusing on others. Look in the mirror!
  • 17. Stop asking for permission.
  • 18. Stop giving the least to those that matter the most.
  • 19. Stop being scared of failure.
  • 20. Stop saying “I Can’t!” – Remember: Can’t never could!

Share your thoughts on any of these 20 and feel free to add more to the list.

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