Big Is The New Small

According to the blog rating system this blog is Rated “R” and this rating was determined based on the presence of the following words: sex (16x) dangerous (6x)  and abortion (1x).  I thought this was a family friendly blog… well not according to this unscientific rating system; which poses another question in itself, is there a scientific rating system.

This got me thinking about the whole “Rated-R” thing and whether or not it is appropriate for Christians and Pastors to watch “Rated-R” movies.  I know plenty of people who will not touch “Rated-R” movies with a ten foot pole and that is definitely their prerogative.   Personally,  I used to be a Warden and worked in the Corrections System for over 13 years.  According to the rating standards, my job would have definitely been considered ”Rated-R,” as I witnessed, experienced and heard things that would surpass any “R” rating.   I have friends who have been in the military and law enforcement who will attest to similar accounts in their jobs.  Since I have been in ministry I have to counsel couples and individuals on a regular basis that share some “Rated-R” stories and “Rated-R” experiences.

Although they’re not necessarily  my first choice, I personally will watch a “Rated-R” movie and I believe that as we grow in our relationship with Christ some things will be more convicting than others.  We are all affected in different ways by different things and I believe we have to use discernment and good personal judgement.  Ratings, Ratings, Ratings… I had someone ask me before, what I thought the Bible was Rated?  Hmm

Should Pastors, Christians… watch “Rated-R” Movies?  Do You… Share your thoughts!

In ’08 I had a bunch of fun growing, leading, connecting, thinking and working on a number of different projects.  A cool project for me in ’08 was shooting a video for a for a message on Envy; as the video was shot in a prison that I was formerly the Warden of.  It was a reminder of the merging of a previous season of my life (corrections), with my current season of life (ministry).   Nick Jones shot the video and he is amazing; I taught the “Envy” Message at Flamingo Road Church in South Florida.

As we go into ’09 let’s be content with the things that God has blessed us with and stop trying to keep up with the Jones’.  Take a look at this short “Envy” video and reflect the things that you may have been imprisoned to in ’08, that you refused to be imprisoned to in ’09. We are Not “Keepin’ Up With The Jones’ in ’09.”

Hostage – Envy from Nick Jones on Vimeo.

As a leader it’s important to set the tone for your team or organization; as to how to handle difficult or crisis situations.  If the leader wigs out, stresses out or has a heart attack during high stress or crisis situations; there will always be undertones of that stress transferred to the rest of the team. 

When I was a Warden in the prison system I developed a particular philosophy and mindset; as it related to handling high stress or crisis situations.  As you can imagine running a prison presented daily potentially high stress, crisis and potentially life & death situations.  The mindset and saying that I created was: ”There is nothing that we can’t begin to fix in 5 Minutes and 5 Phone Calls.”    I trained my Chief of Security and my Officers to not sweat the small stuff and embrace the fact that crisis situations will happen… it’s not about the situation it’s about how you handle the situation.

If there was a full-blown prison riot the process within the first 5 Minutes would be to make the following 5 Phone Calls:

1. Call Local Law Enforcement
2. Call Me “The Warden”
3. Call The Department of Corrections Liaison
4. Call Vice President of Operations
5. Call Media/PR Representative

This mindset puts all situations; including crisis situation into the perspective of: “When there is a problem; whether it be work related or personal… there is the beginning to a solution around the corner.”  Quit Trippin’, Tell Your Boss to Quit Trippin’, Stop Wiggin’ Out and realize that every situation including life & death ones can can begin to be fixed in “5 Minutes and 5 Phone Calls.”

• Have you experienced leaders in crisis situations either: wigg out or taking the 5 Minute and 5 Phone Call approach?  Thoughts, Discuss!  

Quit Trippin’… Transcend The isms

Me and my buddy Nick Jones who is a super-talented Media Design guy shot a video for what is a message opener dealing with ENVY.   We actually shot the video in one of my old prisons where I used to be the Warden.   

Nick is a one-man show and a freak of nature when it comes to video producing.  It’s only about 2 minutes long so go to Nick’s site, check out the video, post a comment on his blog and let him know what you think.  Click Here!

ALL SIN IS NOT THE SAME 

Individuals come into the prison system for a wide range of sins including but not limited to: stealing, lying, cheating, robbery, drug selling, drug using, possession of firearms, violation of parole, murder….. and the biggest and worse one of them all “Well I will get to that one in a minute.” 

One thing that is clear in the prison/judicial system is that sin has labels; some sins are worse than other sins.  A person might receive 5 years for one crime and 20 years for another crime.  Two individuals might commit the same crime and receive different sentences depending upon the circumstances, the judge, the attorneys, the jury and so on; in other words the gravity of their sentence is open to interpretation. 

We should not judge people, or throw stones… because we are all sinners and that sin nature is what separates us from God.  Truthfully speaking sin is labeled sin and in the prison system the biggest and worse one of them all is a “Sex Offender” whom is treated totally different then any other sinner (more likely to be brutalized, raped, killed…) “That’s not perception, that’s reality!”  

There is a sin classification in the eyes of other inmates and there is also a sin classification in the eyes of the public.  A Sex Offender once told me and some of his peers “By being in prison we are considered by most to be the scum of the earth; by being a Sex Offender we are considered the scum, of the scum of the earth, we ain’t %@#$.” 

All sin is the same: If we cut ourselves small, medium or large we will bleed and those cuts (sins) are what separate us from God.  Some of those cuts may bleed longer, may leave a bigger scar and may even lead to death. 

• All sin is not the same in the Prison System
• All sin is not the same in the Judicial System 
• All sin is not the same in __________________

Is all sin the same in “our” system?  Do we tend to think that other people’s sin is worse than our sin?  Does God view all sin the same?  Should a Sex Offender be treated differently? Questions, Questions, Questions?

PERCEPTION IS NOT ALWAYS REALITY 

Many times people will use the phrase “Perception is Reality” or “Perception becomes Reality” which is true in some cases; however “Perception Is Not Always Reality.”  One of the most common perceptions about prison is the old “Soap on a Rope” or “Big Bubba” is going to get you.  In other words, many people think that if you go to prison that you are going to get raped.   

I am here to tell you that perception is not always reality.  There are definitely situations in prison where inmates are raped and even murdered; however that is the exception and not the rule.  The same economy of scale applies to outside of the prison walls; you can be raped and murdered in the “Free World.”  There are plenty of willing participants behind the walls, that inmates generally don’t have to force themselves. Here are a few more prison perceptions that are not always reality:

• Murderers are always the “Mean & Scary guys” (Many times, not the case.)

• If someone is behind bars they can’t continue to commit crimes (There are networks of criminal behavior behind the prison walls, just as there are in the free world.  You give an idle mind and Satan a bunch of free time… Watch Out!)

• “They are just claiming God because they are in prison.”  (Many times we have to find ourselves like Jonah, before we get it… remember these guys are no different than many of us, they just happened to get caught.)

What are some perceptions that are not always reality that we face: I’m not good enough, I can’t do this because I’m a female, we will never get out of debt,  I’m to young, I will always be single, I couldn’t be a pastor, my business won’t be successful, you can’t shake that addiction, my marriage can’t be restored….. 

PERCEPTION IS NOT ALAWYS REALITY! 

What are some other perceptions that you have about prison?  What are some perceptions that you have overcome as not being reality?  Do you have any other thoughts on Perception & Reality?

PUT SOME WATER ON IT 

A commonly used phrase in prison is “Put Some Water On It.”  Okay here is the short and skinny of what “Put Some Water On It” really means.  When an individual is using the bathroom; specifically the Number 2 other inmates will yell or politely say “Put Some Water On It.” 

Generally inmates share a toilet in a small 8×10 cell, or the bathroom is located in a common area and “Putting Some Water On It” refers to flushing the toilet during a bile movement.  Not only flushing but specifically flushing after each plop.  I know that’s (TMI) too much information; however I want you to get the picture.  Putting some water on it will ensure that the number 2 doesn’t stink up the rest of the area; in other words inmates don’t want to smell others’ stinky poop if they can avoid it. 

Many times we have to smell others stinky poop: Bitterness, Jealousy, Gossiping, Envy, Addictions, Pride, Insecurities, Anger, Lying… and just want to yell or politely say “Put Some Water On It!”  In other words people get sick of always having to deal with others stinky poop; especially when all they have to do is flush.  Stop gossiping, stop lying, confess your addictions, humble yourself, get some accountability for your porn problem, get over your insecurities, stop wanting what other people have, get control of your debt… and “Put Some Water On It.”

I am all about helping people with their problem areas; because we all have them.  Sometimes people (me, you, and others) need to just “Put Some Water On It,” flush the stinky poop and stop letting it just sit in the toilet. 

Do you find yourself facing people and their situations and want to say “Put Some Water On It.”   Are there areas of your life in which you need to “Put Some Water On It?”  Honestly, do you just get sick and tired of stinky poop lingering in the toilet? 

Many of you who are new to BigIsTheNewSmall may not know my story.  I spent about thirteen years in the prison system; that’s right horrible food, 8×10 cells, built up anger, razor wire….  I was an Officer, then a Counselor and finally a Warden.  This week, I am going to share some lessons that I learned while being in the prison system all of those years; some may be more graphic than others. 

SIMILARITIES BETWEEN BEING A WARDEN AND BEING A PASTOR

• I’ve found the most effective strategy for leading people, is to “Be about the people!” (Genuinely care; take care of inmates or church members).
• The method in which you lead people, can cause them to become a great asset or pain in the asset (many times the inmates were my greatest asset as a leader, the same philosphy applies to church members).
• In corrections and ministry, individuals are led by specific rules, identified culture and organized structure. (Do’s & don’ts).
• Inmates and church members act differently around the Warden and the Pastor (In Craig’s post today he talks about members talking different to Pastors).
• Just as we Got Rid of the word Church Member and changed it to Partners; there was a time in corrections when we changed from using the word Inmate, to using the word Client. (Both make a difference in the overall mindset).
• Ultimately a Warden and a Pastor lead a venue where people can be confronted, held accountable, developed, challenged…. and leave personal chaos behind; in order for their lives to be truly CHANGED!

Don’t Judge, instead use Good Judgment: Bring-in, Build-up, Train & Send-out.

Any analogies come to mind with your job and The Church?  Share any other thoughts or perspectives!