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Pastors, Leaders, People… Stop Having Affairs!

It truly breaks my heart every time that I hear about people having affairs; especially those who have been entrusted with a leadership role.  It doesn’t matter whether we are talking about the President, Politicians, Teachers, Pastors, Coaches, Worship Leaders, Sports Superstars…  These individuals who have been blessed and entrusted with the responsibility of leadership influence should hold that influence tightly, lightly and responsibly all at the same time.

Honestly, as a pastor this selfish cheating mess is probably one of the most frustrating/irritating areas to counsel people through; especially when the individuals don’t seem to understand the impact of their selfish actions. Not only do they not realize the impact, but they would have probably continued if they hadn’t gotten caught. This tragedy can also be one of the most rewarding areas to celebrate/praise on the other side, through total repentance and legitimate restoration.

I know people may say Scott you are naive and it can happen to anybody, but I say this with all the humility I can muster up “IT DOESN’T HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ANYBODY!” I read through 1 Corinthians 6 again today and I don’t care what version I read, The Message, New Century or NIV, they all communicated the same thing.  Run, Flee, Your Body Is A Temple, You Were Bought By God For a Price. As Christ Followers and especially as Christian Leaders; we don’t get to pick and choose how we act. We are held to a higher standard and if we can really do all things through Christ who gives us strength; I have to believe that “all things” encompasses honoring our covenant vows before God and to our spouse.

None of us are perfect, we all sin, we all fall short, we all know right from wrong and I would argue that even a non-believer understands that they are not supposed to cheat on their spouse. Marriage is serious, Treat It As Such!

A word to Pastors, Leaders or anyone else who is cheating, flirting or going down that road: Stop, Flee, Run and Pray.  Proverbs 5:5 talks about the adulteress woman this way, “She’s dancing down the primrose path to Death; she’s headed straight for Hell and taking you with her.” So many end up on the primrose path and don;t even realize how they got there. You can’t get there, if you don’t go near there.

Satan doesn’t have any power over you, only the power to deceive.  If you’re choosing to go down this road of deception, ultimately Satan is Playing you like a drum and Pimpin’ you like a prostitute!

Pastors, Leaders, People…  Stop Having Affairs!  Thank You!

Ladies, STOP Lusting After Your Pastor

I remember having a conversation with a pastor friend of mine who happens to be a female.  She was sharing the various unique things that women in the church struggle with and things they have confided in her.  One of the things that she shared made me have one of those “hmm” moments.  She stated that women that she’s talked w/ in various churches struggle with the fact that They Think Their Pastor’s Sexy!  Not to be confused with the popular country music song “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy.” Not only do they think their Pastor’s Sexy, but they struggle with their mind and eyes wandering into inappropriate places.  It becomes a challenge because they will have these lustful thoughts as their pastor is speaking. The same can be true for men with a female pastors or lust in general.

Many pastors teach the concept out of the book Every Mans Battle called “Bouncing Your Eyes.” In other words, don’t keep your eyes focused on someone of the opposite sex for too long.   Keeping your eyes moving can keep you out of trouble.  This is something that is stereotypically geared towards guys… but what about the ladies?  There is a book called Every Womans Battle, although I have not heard anything about the content.

After my conversation with my female pastor friend, it’s probably fair for me to make the assumption that there are women sitting in pews and seats of churches all around the country that may be struggling with the inability to “Bounce Their Eyes;”  especially as their eyes are having to be fixated on their “Sexy Pastor,” who happens to be in front of them for relatively lengthy periods of time each and every week.  The fact that their pastor is a man of God, tells great stories and seems to be rather put together only increases the the sexiness factor.

The thoughts running through their head might be something like this: He’s Hot, I like that suit, Are those True Religion Jeans, He’s so spiritual, I wish my husband treated me like that, He’s so Handsome, Nice Hair, He dresses so fly, I can tell he’s been working out, He’s so considerate, I know he’s married but, I would, I wonder if I can share that with him, I bet he… After thinking these thoughts, their mind wanders for a moment or two or three or four and unfortunately, this cycle can repeat itself on a weekly basis.  The Bible says this: ”But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28  Ladies this passage applies to you as well, so please Stop Lusting After Your Pastor!

God created us with a unique ability to train and control our eyes, actions and mind.  Exercise your ability and gain control.

Do women get a pass? Is this a problem? How does play into the overall adultery scheme of things? Share your thoughts.

My Barbershop Ministry

LC Stories | Author of Life from Jonathan Meisner on Vimeo.

For those of you that have been around BigIsTheNewSmall.com or have connected with me on one of my Social Media Channels; you know that I go to the barbershop every Friday.  As a matter of fact I have went to the barbershop every week for as long as I can remember and it’s now a tradition for my boys and I. Every Friday after school we hit Sonic Happy Hour and then hit the Barbershop.

In my world the traditional “Black Barbershop” is one of those great places to debate, to learn, to connect, to develop relationship, to gain wisdom, to talk sports, to talk noise and to minister.  I remember several years ago I began developing a relationship with a guy named Adam who also got his haircut every Friday.  Week after week Adam and I would talk, and I could tell this guy really had some amazing potential.  I would invite him to church all the time, but in the barbershop it would generally take a lot of work to get people to church because in most people’s eyes, I went to “The White Church.”

I kept inviting Adam for probably about a year and one weekend when I was preaching he took me up on my invitation. The cool thing is that he began attending frequently. Next thing I know he was plugged in, serving, giving, attending a small group and growing in his relationship with Christ.  He is one of the guys that I personally mentor and I can’t wait to see what God does through his life and his witness.

I remember talking with Adam one day and he said that before he ever knew that I was a pastor he watched how I carried myself in the barbershop and how I interacted with my boys for a long time.  He said that was more of a reason to check out my church than the fact that I was a Pastor.

The reality is that our lives are our biggest outreach tool.  Who are you inviting, remember people are watching and they are looking for a reason to follow God or an excuse to follow the world.

God uses all stories to shape His story.  The above video is a piece that @Jmeisner14 from Lifechurch.tv put together and it features three stories and reminds of God’s hand on our lives. One of those stories is Adam’s story.  Parts are shot in my barbershop and yes that’s by barber. I keep saying “my” because the title of this post is “My Barbershop Ministry.”  It’s amazing how The Author Of Life uses our story and even weekly conversations in the barbershop to tell his story. It’s awesome to be a part of watching Adam help shape the stories of others and especially the next generation of World Changers.

The barbershop is one of my ministries…  What daily or weekly places are you ministering in that you didn’t even realize that it was a ministry.

The Christian Version Of The Drive-By Shooting

This is the christian version of a drive by shooting, I think innocent bystanders may have been injured. Watch this video and share your thoughts!

I found this link from my man @holycowcreative and he got it form @jesusneedsnewpr. (HT: to those guys for the name and link)

Stop Lusting After Your Pastor!

I remember having a conversation with a pastor friend of mine who happens to be a female.  She was sharing the various unique things that women in the church struggle with and things they have confided in her.  One of the things that she shared made me have one of those “hmm” moments.  She stated that many women that she’s talked w/ in various churches struggle with the fact that They Think Their Pastor’s Sexy!  Not to be confused with the popular country music song “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy.” Not only do they think their Pastor’s Sexy, but they struggle with their mind and eyes wandering into inappropriate places.  It becomes a challenge because they tend to have these lustful thoughts as their pastor is speaking. The same can be true for men with a female pastors or lust in general.

Many pastors teach the concept out of the book Every Mans Battle called “Bouncing Your Eyes” in other words don’t keep your eyes focused on someone of the opposite sex for too long.   Keeping your eyes moving can keep you out of trouble.  This is something that is stereotypically geared towards guys… but what about the ladies?  There is a book called Every Womans Battle, although I have not heard anything about the content.

After my conversation with my female pastor friend; it’s probably fair for me to make the assumption that there are women sitting in pews and seats of churches all around the country that may be struggling with the inability to “Bounce Their Eyes.”  As their eyes are fixated on their “Sexy Pastor,” who happens to be in front of them for relatively lengthy periods of time each and every week.  The fact that their pastor is a man of God, tells great stories and seems to be rather put together only increases the the sexiness factor.

The thoughts running through their head might be something like this: He’s Hot, I like that suit, Are those True Religion Jeans, He’s so spiritual, I wish my husband treated me like that, He’s so Handsome, He is really smart, Nice Hair, He dresses so fly, I can tell he’s been working out, He’s so considerate, I know he’s married but, I would, I wonder if I can share that with him, I bet he… After thinking these thoughts, their mind wanders for a moment or two or three or four and unfortunately, this cycle can repeat itself on a weekly basis.  The Bible says this:”But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28  Ladies this passage applies to you as well, so please Stop Lusting After Your Pastor!

God created us with a unique ability to train and control our eyes, actions and mind. Exercise your ability and gain control.

(disclaimer – there will be a future post… Stop Lusting After Your Congregation)

Do women get a pass? Is this a problem? How does play into the overall adultery scheme of things? Share your thoughts.

7 Deadly Sins Of Twitter

Although Twitter is an amazing tool to: network, develop relationships, find information, share information, promote your business, promote your brand, make the world smaller, minister to people… It’s not all good!

What I mean by Twitter is not all good is the fact that the tool itself is great; however the element of humans using the tool can create problems. Twitter can actually ruin your life if you don’t guard yourself and become aware of the fact that if you choose to drive down the Twitter Highway there are some potholes and deadly sins to avoid.

Here are the 7 Deadly Sins Of Twitter and These 7 Things Can Ruin Your Life!

  • 1. Porn- If you find yourself being intrigued by the revealing Twitter profile pics. or dating sites and start clicking to learn a little bit more, this is a sign of trouble.   The next thing you know, that click will lead to another click, that will lead to you clicking a link of a tweet that looks something like this “Check out this video of me all alone.” This my friends is the first pothole to a road that will ruin your life.
  • 2. Secret DM’s– If you are married and find yourself having secret DM conversations with someone of the opposite sex, That can be trouble. What I mean my secret, are those seemingly innocent conversations that your spouse doesn’t know about.  Always leave your Twitter account accessible to your spouse.  I recommend universal passwords for both you and your spouse for all Twitter, Facebook, e-mail and Social Media accounts; in other-words all log-in and passwords are the same.  (My entire family uses the same password for everything.)  If you find yourself remotely questioning the potential of one of your Twitter conversations or relationships; share the conversation with your spouse and block that person immediately.
  • 3. It’s All About Me- Twitter can be a very competitive form of Social Media, as a matter of fact there man of the new apps. or infomercial DM’s are relative to ways to increase your followers. Many people are guilty of checking their number of followers and having a desire to increase our number of followers. It’s important that the desire to increase our numbers or influence doesn’t turn into the “It’s All About Me” syndrome. Don’t be so consumed with your numbers that you get big headed and think you’re the Big Man or Big Woman on campus. Value and respect your followers and appreciate the numbers that you have, because in Twitter World it’s not all about you, it’s all about the people that follow you. An easy way to check yourself is to daily recognize that your account, followers and entire Twitter Profile can be deleted with one bug, virus or error.
  • 4. Time- It can be easy to get sucked into the Twitter time consuming capsule. Ask yourself this question “Do I find my time on Twitter interrupting my productivity time at work or becoming a hindrance to my time with friends, family, spouse… In case you are in denial, naive or oblivious to your time problem; ask the people closest to you, do they see your time on Twitter as a problem?   There are many tools to help you with your productivity and potentially help you avoid this deadly sin.   Here is a list of the Top 111 Twitter Tools.
  • 5. Multiple Personality Disorder– Often times people develop a Twitter Personality that is different from their normal personality. This is a hard road to travel because you can find yourself expending energy and fueling the Twitter Personality that’s not the real you. These personalities begin to compete with one another and trouble is on the way. Ask yourself this question “Is my Twitter Personality the real me?” Be yourself and don’t get caught up in the fake Multiple Personality Disorder Game… It will ruin the real you!
  • 6. Envy- If you find yourself full of Envy, as it relates to the influence that other Twitterers have then you are traveling down the road of bitterness. Many times it’s the subtle statements, thoughts or comments that communicate your heart is beginning to fill with Envy. Comments like “I Can’t believe so and so has that many followers” or “Why do people follow them and they tweet the stupidest things” or “There is no way they should have that much influence” or you start referring to @guykawasaki as @girlkawasaki. You should encourage and celebrate others in the TwitterWorld who have been blessed with influence. Envy is the tribute that mediocrity pays to genius, hard-work and success.
  • 7. CopyCat- Don’t simply copy what others in the TwitterWorld are doing, Be Yourself. Do You! It’s A Statement… Not A Question!

Share your thoughts on any of the 7 Deadly Sins of Twitter or add some additional to the list.

Stop Lusting After Your Pastor!

I remember having a conversation with a pastor friend of mine who happens to be a female.  She was sharing the various unique things that women in the church struggle with and things they have confided in her.  One of the things that she shared made me have one of those “hmm” moments.  She stated that women that she’s talked w/ in various churches struggle with the fact that They Think Their Pastor’s Sexy!  Not to be confused with the popular country music song “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy.” Not only do they think their Pastor’s Sexy, but they struggle with their mind and eyes wandering into inappropriate places.  It becomes a challenge because they will have these lustful thoughts as their pastor is speaking. The same can be true for men with a female pastors or lust in general.

Many pastors teach the concept out of the book Every Mans Battle called “Bouncing Your Eyes” in other words don’t keep your eyes focused on someone of the opposite sex for too long.   Keeping your eyes moving can keep you out of trouble.  This is something that is stereotypically geared towards guys… but what about the ladies?  There is a book called Every Womans Battle, although I have not heard anything about the content.

After my conversation with my female pastor friend; it’s probably fair for me to make the assumption that there are women sitting in pews and seats of churches all around the country that may be struggling with the inability to “Bounce Their Eyes.”  As their eyes are having to fixated on their “Sexy Pastor,” who happens to be in front of them for relatively lengthy periods of time each and every week.  The fact that their pastor is a man of God, tells great stories and seems to be rather put together only increases the the sexiness factor.

The thoughts running through their head might be something like this: He’s Hot, I like that suit, Are those True Religion Jeans, He’s so spiritual, I wish my husband treated me like that, He’s so Handsome, Nice Hair, He dresses so fly, I can tell he’s been working out, He’s so considerate, I know he’s married but, I would, I wonder if I can share that with him, I bet he… After thinking these thoughts, their mind wanders for a moment or two or three or four and unfortunately, this cycle can repeat itself on a weekly basis.  The Bible says this… “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28  Ladies this passage applies to you as well, so please Stop Lusting After Your Pastor!

God created us with a unique ability to train and control our eyes, actions and mind.  Exercise your ability and gain control.

Do women get a pass? Is this a problem? How does play into the overall adultery scheme of things? Share your thoughts.

All Sin Is Not The Same!

sinI previously worked as a Warden in the prison system and learned many life and leadership lessons during my tenure.  I think I will share a few of those lessons this week. One many applicable life and ministry lesson is the fact that All Sin Is Not The Same.

Individuals come into the prison system for a wide range of sins including but not limited to: stealing, lying, cheating, robbery, drug selling, drug using, possession of firearms, violation of parole, murder and the biggest and of course the worse one of them all… “I’ll get to that one in a minute.”

One thing that is clear in the prison/judicial system is that sin has labels; some sins are worse than other sins. A person might receive 5 years for one crime and 20 years for another crime. Two individuals might commit the same crime and receive different sentences depending upon the circumstances, the judge, the attorneys, the jury and so on; in other words the gravity of their sentence is open to interpretation.

We should not judge people, or throw stones… because we are all sinners and that sin nature is what separates us from God. The reality is, sin has labels and in the prison system the biggest and worst sinners of them all are “Sex Offender” whom are treated totally different then any of the other sinners (more likely to be brutalized, raped, killed etc.) “That’s not perception, that’s reality!”

There is a sin classification in the eyes of other inmates and there is also a sin classification in the eyes of the public. I remember sitting down talking to a A Sex Offender and some of his peers when I was a Warden and him saying to me: “By being in prison we are considered by most to be the scum of the earth; by being a Sex Offender we are considered the scum, of the scum of the earth, we ain’t %@#$.”

All sin is not the same: If we cut ourselves small, medium or large we will bleed and those cuts (sins) are what separate us from God. Some of those cuts may bleed longer, may leave a bigger scar and may even lead to death.

  • All sin is not the same in the Prison System
  • All sin is not the same in the Judicial System
  • All sin is not the same in __________________

All sin is not the same, however the amazing thing is that Jesus paid our sin debt on the cross.  All sin is not the same, but Jesus forgives all sin the same and works for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose.

Is all sin the same in “our” system? Do we tend to think that other people’s sin is worse than our sin? Does God view all sin the same? Should a Sex Offender be treated differently? Questions, Questions, Questions?

That Dirty Little Secret Will Ruin You!

dirty secretWith all of the discussion surrounding the death of retired Titans Quarterback Steve McNair; I thought it was important to make one thing clear… That Dirty Little Secret Will Ruin You!   Amidst his recent murder, people are raising questions about the married Quarterback’s off the field/personal life and adulterous dealings with his alleged 20 year old girlfriend.  The question is whether or not those off the field actions and Dirty Little Secrets should affect his or any other person in a similar situation’s philanthropy, good deeds, life-long career and good standing in the community.  

The answer is absolutely, positively Yes it should affect you, it will affect you and bottom line is: That Dirty Little Secret Will Ruin You!   If you don’t believe me look at the life of Christian Evangelist Ted Haggard and countless others… simply survey their lives before and after those Dirty Little Secrets Were Exposed.  You can read all of the latest news on the McNair Story here.

This is not about casting stones; as a matter of fact this applies to each and every one of us.  Those Dirty Little Secrets that stay in the dark will Ruin You if and when they come to light.  By God’s Grace, we can absolutely be forgiven for our actions and for our sins; however that doesn’t negate the fact that, That Dirty Little Secret Will Ruin You! 

Expose those Dirty Little Secrets and remember you can be forgiven and you can be restored; however you can still be ruined!  That Dirty Little Secret Will Ruin You!  Not only will it Ruin You… it will devastate, hurt, crush and at times even ruin those you closest to you.  Please continue to pray for Steve McNair’s wife, children, family and friends.

Can and should one Dirty Little Secret Ruin You?  Share Your Thoughts!

This Adultery Madness Has Got To Stop!

South Carolina Governor admits to an affair!  Let’s call it what it is, “It’s not an affair… It’s Adultery and It’s Sin!”  The Governor did make a few of good statements in his press conference: “There are moral absolutes, God’s law is there to protect you from yourself and there are consequences if you breech those laws.”

I just blogged about this a week ago in a post entitled: “Pastors, Players, Pimps… Stop Cheating!”

Gentlemen, Men, Fathers, Leaders… This Adultery Madness Has Got To Stop!  That’s all I have to say!

If you have something to say, feel free to share your thoughts!

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