Big Is The New Small

I was thinking about coming up with one of those creative, cool, leadership, controversial or challenging posts this morning; however I slept through my normal morning 3B-Time (Bible, Books & Blogs).  So what is a person to do: go ahead and push through, make up something, post a YouTube video, post a blog that someone else wrote, sharea link that says go check out so and so’s site, post some pictures… ehhhh not so much for me my friends.  That kind of thought process can lead to a people pleasing attitude and I am the furthest thing from a people pleaser; so my post today simply begins and ends with: “Not Today…” 

If you are having one of those days in whatever area of your life, feel free to simply say “Not Today…”  it’s better to say “Not Today…” then to sit around Fakin’ and shakin’ and remember “Not Today… doesn’t mean Not Tomorrow…” 

“Not Today…”  Transcend The Isms’

A TIME FOR EVERYTHING

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

The bottom line is that there is a time and a season for everything, the key is to know what time it is… embrace it, live it, feel it, don’t let anyone one disrupt it, know it, mean it, don’t care what people think about it, be it, make it, hold on to it and freakin’ believe in it.

What is “It?”  It can be: things, life, stuff, situations, decisions… “It” may be you! 

There is a Time For Everything; Do You Know What Time It Is? 

With the growing Twitter frenzy comes the identification of various Twitterquette.  There are plenty of twitter faux pas that tweeps commit on a daily basis and these are continually growing as the number of twitter users increases.  I could go through a long list of Twitter No, No’s: millionaire or guru in your profile status, profanity laced tirades, avatars that don’t look anything like the twitterer, always trying to sell something… 

Here is a list of 31 Twitter No, No’s from the Twitternation:

1.  tonycobb ummm….people who have an “agenda” when they tweet!!!!!!!!
2. vinceparker tweeps who ask other tweeps to always share about tweeping. 
3. jt  When people have polls.  
4. Adamlehman posting nothing meaningful or engaging. those people get dropped quick 
5. Anna_Meadows tweeps who tweep too often! 
6. chriswhill when people retweet inside jokes their not in on 
7. 1stAngel Don’t D me a link I havent asked for. Share what you have for sale but not EVERY tweet! Retweet me often LOL 
8. joshshea people arguing over twitter. even debate. it’s just annoying. 
9. mburleson  I get more replies from real “stars” than I get from “church stars”. You aren’t that important to give some @replies  
10. JoeBoutte I ignore things I don’t like in the twitter world…unless they need my input 
11. jwmoss when someone posts more than 4 @ replies in a row to the same person. use DM’s!
12. christcentred ppl who never @reply, DM or RT and ppl who exist only to post links (and do so 100 times). 
13. Murphy24p Twitter no-nos: Profile pic should be you, not your kids. LONG conversations should go “off-line” 
14. steveharrison idiots! like me who confuse direct messages, @replies, & text messages..oops can’t believe I sent that too him instead of 
15. GeoffSurratt I can’t stand endless streams of sarcastic commentary on nationally televised political events. 
16. datingdad Those “thanks for the follow,” impersonal auto-DMs drive me nuts. Not conversation-starters. Annoying, especially the promos. 
17. jenvasil cell phones . . .sorry that’s Rl. it crossed over for a minute there. : ) 
18. jasoncurlee friends not tweeting often enough…like going a day or two with only one tweet  
19. Joshsur No picture is a big time no no. Also, long conversations using @ replies instead of direct messages is a pet peeve as well! 
20. spaulds1 Someone goes out of their way 2 help answer imp ? & then person ignores! Bad manners!! 
21. seanmurphy07 Twitter No No’s… people who follow just to sell me on something or who seem to be little more than an ad for their business 
22. AmandaSims Over-inflated bios about being a web genius or mega-millionaire. 
23. leigh_shea when argue is what bothers me. It makes me wonder if they know other are seeing it. Makes me uncomfortable just reading it 
24. Johnwsnyder People who repeat the same tweet in a matter of an hour, and people who follow you, but don’t reply to you when you @ them 
25. DavidTCopeland Tweet just to sell me something or talk all day about themselves w/o ever making any effort to know anything about me. 
26. AD_hoc Twitter No No – using twitter as your personal email. If you do more than one @ reply in a row, you might check yourself. 
27. craighepburn having public tweet conversations which have no value to the wider community – always try to add value in some form 
28. manymeadows self pimping….over and over and over. Except for myself, of course  
29. jeremydbaldwin twitter population contest 
30. zachking I would have to say things like “twitter fist bumps”, “twitter pimp slaps” and any sort of twitter handshakes..JK Scott!
31. clarksonkh my biggest pet peeve is when people who don’t understand Twitter, ask “isn’t it just like facebook statuses?”

 Any of these No, No’s resonate with you?  Add to the list be sharing some of your Twitter No, No’s!

This is a 10 Point Leadership Look In The Mirror Checklist… The Good,The Bad & The Ugly!

The Good

• If your team is not scared to dream, fail & have fun (Look In The Mirror)
• If your team is self-motivated to produce excellent work (Look In The Mirror)
• If your team likes to have fun & truly like each other (Look In The Mirror)

The Bad

• If your team is scared to make decisions without your approval (Look In The Mirror)
• If your team settles for mediocrity and doesn’t demand excellence (Look In The Mirror)
• If your team members opportunities are limited because of age, gender or experience (Look In The Mirror)

The Ugly

• If your team dreads coming to work (Look In The Mirror)
• If you have high turnover (Look In The Mirror)
• If your team is unwilling to follow you (Look In the Mirror)
• If you are oblivious to all of these points… ask your team to tell you what they see in you, when they look at you in the mirror…

Whether a leader, husband, coach… likes it or not the buck begins and ends with them: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly.  

Have you had experience with any of these points, do you have any additional points to share?  Share Your Thoughts!

Need a Quickie?  Okay, here is a leadership quickshop: “Do You Believe?”

I believe the primary success of any team member, staff member, employee… can be attributed to the positive belief in those individuals from their leader.  I read a quote in one of Maxwell’s leadership books that reads something like: “A person will be as successful as the most important person in their life thinks they will be.”  In reference to leadership; a leaders belief and support are extremely important to the success of a team member.

Here are 5 Leadership Quick Steps:  The Yes You Can’s That Really Matter…

• Truly believe in your team members; let them dream, lead, fail and don’t micro-manage.
• Share your support and belief in your team members both publicly and privately.
• Truly believe in your team members at a level that no one else will (If you don’t who will).
• Be mindful that your team members know and feel their leaders level of belief in them (They can and will internalize the lid of your belief).
• If you believe your team members can fly… even if they can’t, they will come darn close!
• Bonus: Believe that you can learn from those that you lead!

Do you believe in somebody, does somebody believe in you?  Thoughts on “Do You Believe?   

As I was rolling down the interstate on the way to drop my son off at school and then to the office, I noticed the traffic beginning to slow down ahead.  From my vantage point I could not totally see what the hold up was; an accident, gazing, someone pulled over…  As I approached the traffic jam, I noticed vehicles ahead were exiting the last exit before the traffic jam, in order to take the service road and go around the jam and make it to their exit unimpeded.

At this point I had a decision to make; I could either a.) exit onto the service road or b.) wait my way through the traffic jam.  I chose decision a.) because I didn’t have time to wait through the traffic jam.   Yes, I took the shortcut and exited onto the service road.  As I was making the egress onto the service road I was finally able to glance over and see that the traffic jam was two officers, a pulled over vehicle and a bunch of gawking/gazing drivers.  I could also see that the traffic appeared to break free and be moving quickly just on the other side of this mini jam that appeared to be enormous. 

I ended up stuck in a traffic jam on the service road along with the other drivers who were content with Taking a Shortcut…   Just because it’s a shortcut doesn’t mean that it’s the Bestcut.  Shortcut is defined as: a method, procedure, policy, etc., that reduces the time or energy needed to accomplish something.  Key phrase “reduces time or energy.”  I say “When in doubt, wait it out!”

Shortcuts… Thoughts?

I am going to just rant a little bit this morning… so please excuse my run on-ranting sentence:  I will be honest, I had no idea that porn was as enormous of a problem as it is prior to being in full-time vocational ministry, I worked in the prison system or some facet of corrections for nearly 13 years prior to ministry and porn was not discussed as a matter of fact inmates would stay as far from sexual problems as they could because once you were labeled a sex offender or had sex problems, then life behind the prison walls was a little more difficult for you, if you know what I mean; since I have been in ministry and as recent as yesterday, I have had countless couples come into my office, and a wife sitting there with her heart ripped out because of her husbands porn addiction, secrets, lies, deception, double lives, infidelity, dishonesty, breaking of the covenant they have established before God… we all have our struggles, pornography just doesn’t happen to be one of mine, which may of played into my naivety years ago as to the degree of this problem, some statistics say that 50% of christian men struggle with pornography, more than half of the men attending the Christian men’s Promise Keeper rallies admitted to viewing pornography, and 37 percent of Christian pastors admitted to being addicted to porn, this is a problem, guys- if you are struggling go talk to someone today, expose it, tell your wife; pastors- talk about it, preach about it, let your congregation know its real and they are not alone, go check out XXX Church’s website, get some accountability, you are not keeping this from God… He already knows; below is a 60 second trailer for a porn documentary “Somebody’s Daughter” and this is an article about the documentary, you can watch the Porn Pastor Craig Gross from XXX Church’s message that he did on National Porn Sunday here; fellas confess your sins to another, seek prayer and begin to be healed… this porn crap is pissing me off! making me mad! I’m finished ranting for now… feel free to join in!

Today, as we are wrapping up this week’s series of somewhat controversial questions, I want to say thanks for joining the discussions… many times your perspectives are enlightening and eye-opening to others.  In 2007 I had posted a blog entitled “Success vs. Excess” that examined the then controversial U.S. Senate investigation of Mega-Church Pastors, their salaries, homes, riches…  There were a lot of great responses on that post; if you want a blast from the past you can check it out here.  Today’s question was inspired by similar questions that were e-mailed to me by several people… so here we go:

Should Pastors Drive Expensive Cars or Live In Expensive Homes?

Last year I had blogged a post that asked a question very similar to the one I’m asking today; the post was entitled “Secular Music In The Church” which provided for some lively discussion.  Today’s question is simply:

Should Christians listen to secular music?  Do you listen to secular music?  Why/Why Not… Discuss!

On another note, I have been receiving e-mails, DM’s, recommendations… suggesting questions to ask during this weeks blog series.  Those recommendations have included a wide range of topics, such as: Women showing their clevage, low rise jeans, women showing their thongs, tithe 10% of gross or net, should pastors drive nice cars, how much money should pastors make…   I have decided to allow you guys/gals to pick tomorrows question.  In adition to answering todays question you can recommend what question you would like to see answered tomorrow.  Thanks in advance for your recommendations!

According to the blog rating system this blog is Rated “R” and this rating was determined based on the presence of the following words: sex (16x) dangerous (6x)  and abortion (1x).  I thought this was a family friendly blog… well not according to this unscientific rating system; which poses another question in itself, is there a scientific rating system.

This got me thinking about the whole “Rated-R” thing and whether or not it is appropriate for Christians and Pastors to watch “Rated-R” movies.  I know plenty of people who will not touch “Rated-R” movies with a ten foot pole and that is definitely their prerogative.   Personally,  I used to be a Warden and worked in the Corrections System for over 13 years.  According to the rating standards, my job would have definitely been considered ”Rated-R,” as I witnessed, experienced and heard things that would surpass any “R” rating.   I have friends who have been in the military and law enforcement who will attest to similar accounts in their jobs.  Since I have been in ministry I have to counsel couples and individuals on a regular basis that share some “Rated-R” stories and “Rated-R” experiences.

Although they’re not necessarily  my first choice, I personally will watch a “Rated-R” movie and I believe that as we grow in our relationship with Christ some things will be more convicting than others.  We are all affected in different ways by different things and I believe we have to use discernment and good personal judgement.  Ratings, Ratings, Ratings… I had someone ask me before, what I thought the Bible was Rated?  Hmm

Should Pastors, Christians… watch “Rated-R” Movies?  Do You… Share your thoughts!